10 Words Smart People Use Wrong All The Time

Smart people use certain words wrong all the time. You might think that if they’re such smarty-pants, they shouldn’t make these mistakes. I know!

Maybe because they have a superior IQ, it blinds them to the correct use of these words.

Trumpory

Trumpory is when someone insults and degrades another person, and then when they are called out on it, claim to not remember using “those words,” or “can’t recall” attacking anyone with offensive language.

Postbrushgret

You brush your teeth, enjoying the clean, fresh feeling. Unfortunately, you eat a meal or have a beverage shortly after brushing your teeth, so the clean feeling is short-lived. You are experiencing postbrushgret.

Vitalizing

There are certain important things we each need on our person at all times. Vitalizing is a list you say out loud as you leave the house to make sure you have each item: “Wallet, keys, iPhone,….”

It is common to lightly tap your pockets at the same time you call out the time.

Lionvenge

Lionvenge is when big game animals turn the tables on illegal poachers. Instead of killing the hunters, the animals parade them naked through the jungle with nothing on but silly hats, laughing at them and making fun of their ridiculous sport.

Cleanbotfinal

Bottled water is outrageously expensive. You have been refilling the same bottle over and over to avoid this cost. Unfortunately, you consistently forget to clean it. Who knows what types of bacteria are having a wild party on that bottle?

Cleanbotfinal is when you finally take some dish soap and a bit of water and shake it inside the bottle. Congratulations, you dirty bird, you finally washed it.

Fangunk

Fangunk is the fuzzy dust and debris that lines the screen on the outside of your room or table fan. Because it is such a pain in the neck to open up the fan and clean it, instead you wipe it down once a month with a wet cloth, or if you’re feeling especially industrious, you wrap a screwdriver with a rag and run it up and down the slats of the screen.

Or you forget about it completely until no air passes through the fan at all, starting an electrical fire burns down your house.

Tabhurry

Most modern computer tablets start up in seconds. This is still not fast enough for you. Tabhurry is the anxiety you feel waiting the 23 seconds it takes for your tablet to come to life.

Hey, I understand! You are a person on the go! You are doing exciting things with important people! You can’t wait less than 30 seconds in order to capture a selfie video of your exciting life.

Curryguess

The recipe said to add two teaspoons of curry powder. Rather than reach behind you and open the drawer to grab a teaspoon to measure precisely, you sprinkle the curry powder into the bowl liberally, taking the best guess you could make. This “curryguess” is wildly inaccurate, and the dishes you produce are either red hot or completely bland and tasteless.

Exerpromise

Each week you say you will begin exercising next week. You even check out exercise routines and weightlifting programs on the Internet.

The problem is that you have been making this “exerpromise” for over 35 years. In that time, the amount of actual exercising you have done does not total more than 60 minutes.

Cookiestare

Those cookies you bought the other day are sitting in a bowl on top of the counter next to the stove. They are the expensive kind where each cookie is sealed in its own package.

You pledged to other members of your family not to eat any of the cookies until after you have lost 15 pounds. Since there is no chance on this Earth that you will lose 15 pounds, you walk by the cookies every day staring at them intently, wishing and hoping no one counted them so you can steal one, unwrap it and eat it behind the garage.

For reasons unknown, smart people get these terms wrong all of the time. With patience and care, they can learn to use the words properly, making their communication clearer and more precise.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.