3 Alarm Clocks for Heavy Sleepers

Is there a heavy sleeper in your house? Maybe your partner, child, or relative is the one who sleeps like a log in the forest. If there is a heavy sleeper in your house who you can’t wake up in time for school or work, here are three alarm clocks that will get them up-and-at-’em.

Blanket Drag

The blanket toss requires some strength, but is very effective. Drag the blanket with the person still on it to the nearest Starbucks. Have everyone in the store yell the heavy sleeper’s name at the same time. “Wake up, Brenda! Wake up!”

A Thousand Tickles

Take 1000 feathers and tickle them while saying, “Are you getting up, now? Huh? Are you?” as they convulse in tickle panic and laugh so hard they throw up.

Helicopter Drop

Cut a hole in the roof of you house beforehand. The next time they won’t wake, lower a rope from a helicopter through the roof. Lift their entire bed and float it out over the nearest ocean, lake or deep river. Drop the bed in the water and watch the fun. Who’s awake now?


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at
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