The Bills started operations in 1960 as an original member of the American Football League. They won AFL titles in 1964 and 1965, but then again, it was the American Football League. How hard could have it been? Every team in the league won the championship several times, some teams twice in one year.
The Buffalo Bills are the only team in the league to win conference championships 4 times in a row, and then lose the Super Bowl 4 times in a row. Talk about disappointment. Buffalo has not been that disappointed since the day they realized Elvis faked his death. Wait, what?
“It’s true,” said a local conspiracy theorist. “Elvis faked his death to get away from all the presssure of fame. Right now he works as a janitor at the annual Dyngus Day Parade, Buffalo’s ode to pussy willlows and polka music. Only locals know what the hell I’m talking about here.”
Dyngus Day Parade? Pussy willows and polka music?
The Bills have the longest current streak of losing seasons. The team has not peaked their head above the 500 mark since 2004. It’s because of the snowfall. They get 94 inches of snow a year. They keep losing because the players can’t make it to the games half the time.
“Hello, this one of the Buffalo Bills from the 90s. I’ve been stuck in a snowdrift for several years and I can’t get out. The good news is I found Jimmy Hoffa and a pristine copy of Windows 95. Can you send in some chicken soup and a blowtorch?”