Family

3 Reasons You Should Not Have Children

Children are great, I mean if they never said anything or made any sounds at all. But if your spouse REALLY is pressuring you to have a few, run these three reasons by them to not have children.

Lose Friends

As soon as you have kids, your “BFF” will soon become Best Friend Forever That I Never See Ever (BFFTINSE).

Diminished Marriage

Your spouse is A-1 in your life, right. Well, when the kids show up, your spouse will move to the number two position and never recover.

Decaying Health

Staying healthy is easy — get enough sleep, eat right, exercise. All three of those go out the window when kids start populating your house. Welcome to Take Out Pizza For the Rest Of Your Days on This Planet.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.