Tech and Science

5 Apps That Could Stop Plunging Apple Watch Sales

Apple Watch sales are in free fall. At first, everyone wanted one, but now sales have dropped tremendously. Don’t worry, Apple! I’ve devised 5 apps that will turn the tide and put these beauties back in the winners column.

Emotion Adjuster

If you ever start to slip into depression, the Emotion Adjuster app pops a gloved hand out of the Apple Watch and slaps you across the face.

Shoelace Tying App

Nothing is more boring and monotonous than constantly tying your shoes. The Shoelace Tying app only requires you to turn the Apple watch upside down on top of your shoes. Special arms protrude and tie your laces in milliseconds.

Dental Speed Washer

Another boring activity is brushing your teeth. Even with an electric toothbrush, it is mind-numbingly dull. The Dental Speed Washer app relieves you of the tedium by cleaning your teeth with microwaves. Simply move the watch over your closed mouth one time, and powerful microwave energy will clean and rejuvenate your teeth before you can say gingivitis.

Bug Blaster

You are sitting outside, enjoying warm summer weather with your family and friends, sipping a cold beverage as the sun slowly sets. Unfortunately, mosquitoes are attacking your party.

The Bug Blaster app creates an electrical fence around your group with the touch of a button. Mosquitoes cannot penetrate the force field, and it doubles as a sun shade in the daytime.

Net Worth Monitor

People who purchase an Apple watch are concerned about how they appear to their peer group. The Net Worth Monitor gives them a constant readout of their monetary net worth.

This gives them an internal boost of confidence that is only enhanced by the stylish Apple watch they overpaid for on their wrist.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.