At the races

5 Crazy People You See on the Bus

After I got fired from my last job, I got rid of my car to cut expenses.

I ride the bus all the time— here are five crazy people I see everyday.

Mr. My-Concert-is-Your-Concert

This guy likes his music so much, he wants to share it with others. He has headphones on, but don’t worry, he’ll turn the music up so loud it feels like you are right there in the front row of the concert.

Mr. and Ms. Shuffle-Butt

Mr. and Ms. Shuffle-Butt are constantly talking to each other in some vague European accent. They shift seats constantly, unhappy with each choice they make. If one likes it, the other doesn’t, and a flurry of discussion, complaining and funny faces ensues each time. This goes on the whole hour you are on the bus.

Mr. Sit-Too-Close

The whole bus is empty except for you. Mr. Sit-Too-Close gets on and sits right behind you. That’s not creepy at all.

Mr. Make-The-Whole-Bus-Wait-While-I-Find-My-Pass

This guy is usually on his cell phone as he boards. He money or pass is not at the ready, and he takes his time finding said items, all the while talking to whomever on the phone. Take all the time you need, sir. These thirty of us already on the bus don’t have anywhere to go. We are just riding around.

Ms. Mayor-of-the-Bus

She should run for Mayor of the bus, because she would win going away. She knows EVERYONE who gets on, their family and their dog. Within minutes of boarding, she and her nearby friends are shrieking with laughter about some story while your eardrums bleed.

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.