5 Ways Hockey Should Be Used in Everyday Life

Hockey is great, but I think we should use parts of hockey in daily life.

Hip Check

Fed up with that annoying co-worker? The next time they come walking towards you, ready to sell you on their latest pyramid/MLM scheme, hip-check them over the cubicle wall.

Penalty Box

Tired of your mother haranguing you about dating that girl with hoop earrings and a tendency to say things like “You get back, Jojo!” Put her in the penalty box you built in your living room. No TV, no phone.

Suspension

Jerk cuts you off on the road? You are allowed to pull them over and take their keys, returnable after 5 days.

Third Man In

The Third Man In rule in hockey provides a game misconduct to any player who jumps into a fight already in progress. In real life, any family member who jumps into the middle a fight between two family members has to sleep in the backyard for one night.

Icing

The icing rule prevents players from shooting the puck the length of the ice. For everyday life, the icing rule penalizes your wife when she “ices” you — not talking or responding to any of your questions about “what’s wrong?”


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.