7 Businesses “The Situation” Considered Before Opening His Tanning Salon

The Situation was back in the news recently after a scuffle in his tanning salon.

What, you didn’t know he had a tanning salon?

Check this out. Here are 7 other businesses he considered opening before settling on the tanning industry.

–The Situation’s Washboard Abs Laundry – lonely New Jersey housewives would do their laundry on his abs. Prices were per hour, not wash load.

–The Situation’s Media Consulting – he would help aspiring Jersey Shore residents pitch reality TV shows. Programs considered included “Forget the SATs – Success through Reality TV” and “Tan Your Way to Obscurity.”

–The Situation’s Walking Tours – Join The Situation as he takes you on walking tours of the locations he first fought, puked and shredded abs on his way to MTV glory.

–The Situation’s Sandwiches and Soda – a boardwalk sandwich shop, Sandwiches and Soda was going to feature waitresses dressed up like Snooki during the high bun years.

–The Situation’s 15 Minutes – a new local TV program, The Situation would feature different businesses on the boardwalk for 15 minute segments. The idea was to raise their profile locally in order to get more business from surrounding communities like Sea Girt and Turkey Swamp Park.

–The Situation’s Spikah Hair Salon – in this high-tech salon, men and women alike would only get one choice of hair style: The Situation’s patented High Fade complete with “Spikah,” The Situation’s nick name for Joico Ice Spiker Water-Resistant Styling Glue.


Photo Courtesy Eve Rinaldi via Flickr 2.0

–The Situation’s Jersey Shore Gym – To make “Gym, Tan, Laundry” as easy as possible, this proposed gym would have laundry and tanning beds right on site.

Please watch this space for future business ideas being pursued by The Situation.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

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