Heading out for vacation with your family this summer? Here are 7 crazy drivers you better watch out for. You can count on them not watching out for you.
1. The Family With Stickers Of Every Tourist Trap They’ve Ever Visited. Yes, they’ve been everywhere. They even have stickers of their trip to Alaska, and no one you have ever met has driven up there.
2. The Stoner Dudes On A Mission To Legalize Pot In All 50 States. Better to get off the road for an hour than try to pass these guys weaving all over the road with a cloud the size of a blimp billowing out the windows.
3. The Mid-Life Crisis Guy With a New Lambo. This guy has some issues he thinks will be solved with a brand new, bright yellow Lamborghini. He drives at 125 all the time, so angry at his life he doesn’t care if he spins out into a roadside alligator farm.
4. The New RV Owner. New RV owners have no spatial judgement. They think they are in their lane. They aren’t — and you can’t get around them. The best you can do is get up enough speed to use the back of the Beetle in front of you as a ramp to fly over the RV and get back on schedule.
5. Clunkermobile Gal. Hey, we’ve all had clunkers. But this lady insists on taking it on vacation. So you get to inhale the exhaust of a rusted out Galaxy 500 for the next 6 hours.
6. Eco-challenge Bus Man. This green-living fellow has the same Volkswagen bus he bought in 1969, and has lived in ever since. Great, except it shakes from the wind, and every Green Earth rally flyer he’s collected for decades comes blowing out the back on to your windshield.
7. The Family Fist Fighters. Most families fight to some degree on the road. These rednecks like to punch each other as hard as they can, drawing more blood than a minor league hockey game, while their parents eat Cheetohs and drink soda as they drive their converted tow truck down the road.