7 Signs Your Puppy Training Has Gone Off The Rails

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Courtesy National Archief via Flickr Commons

Owning a new dog is frustrating. Sometimes they respond to your commands and other times they do not. Here are seven signs your puppy training may not be going at the pace you desire and further training may be necessary.

Couch Eater

When you call them by name and tell them to stop eating the couch, they run at you speed, crashing into the bad knee you hurt senior year of high school when you failed to make the final touchdown against St. Mary’s, losing the entire season and becoming the butt of jokes at your high school for years to come.

Road Trip

When you yell at your dog to get out of the street, instead they hail the next car, jump into the passenger window, offer cigarettes to the driver and proceed to drive across the country, stopping in small towns to do dog tricks in the town square to raise money for gas.

Want To Go Out?

When you ask your dog if they want to go outside, they respond by running up the stairs, out the front bedroom window onto the nearby tree branch and down into the yard. Once in the yard, a set up a lemonade stand where they proceed to make $200 a day.


When you ask your dog if they want to eat, they respond by opening your laptop bookmarked to several websites featuring their favorite doggie treats.

Nine Lives

When you tell your dog to quit chasing the neighbors cats, they respond by turning on your TV to the Discovery Channel which they have pre-programmed to record 20 hours of “big cats,” a weekly series where your dog studies the eating, mating and living habits of the feline world.

Therapy Dog

When you think you are funny and tell your dog that they are crazy, they turn on their back and pretend that they are at the psychologist office.

Stuff This

When you throw your dog’s favorite stuffed toy, they not only retrieve it, they put it into a stack of stuffed toys they have formed into a fort, behind which they have supplies for seven days in case there is an all-out battle with the neighbor cats for dominance of the neighborhood.

New puppies are fun and joy for the whole family. However, they can be rambunctious and seemingly act with a mind of their own. If you encounter any of these behaviors, you have a special puppy — the good news is it will be an adventure to find out what they do next. Maybe even rob a bank.

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.