7 Things To Avoid Before Sex

Sex can be good and it can be bad.

Meaning I can be bad sometimes.

OK, most of the time.

Either way, you’ll ruin your romantic interludes for sure if you don’t avoid these things right before sex.

 

Call your broker.

Courtesy Florida Memory via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Florida Memory via Flickr Commons

 

Call your mother.

Courtesy George Eastman House via Flickr Commons
Courtesy George Eastman House via Flickr Commons

 

Do tricks with the dog.

Courtesy National Archief via Flickr Commons
Courtesy National Archief via Flickr Commons

 

Review your stamp collection.

Courtesy Internet Archive
Courtesy Internet Archive

 

Play industrial metal music.

pd- machinery - machine - industry - 1280w - Image from page 344 of Illustrated catalogue and general description of improved machine tools for w 14770358431
Courtesy Internet Archive

 

Build those new shelves from Ikea.

Courtesy Internet Archive
Courtesy Internet Archive

 

Break out a checkerboard.

Courtesy Thad Zajdowicz via Flickr Public Domain

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.