7 Things You Need to Have A Successful Kitchen

Good cooks know the kitchen is the heart of the home. If your kitchen is a mess, the rest of your life is, too. Get it together, friend. Here are 7 things you need for a successful kitchen.

A Good Knife

You know that knife you bought off of a TV infomercial 25 years ago that can barely cut a soggy mushroom in half? You need to get rid of that one. A good knife is key to being able to cut and chop food quickly. If you have to run from the other room, raise the knife above your head and bring it down like you are chopping the heads off of chickens, just to slice a tomato, it’s time to consider buying a professional blade.

Working Dishwasher

Are your plates and dishes coming out dirtier than when they went into the dishwasher?

Does your dishwasher use up 18 boxes of detergent for every load?

Do you find yourself washing your dishes before you put them into the dishwasher, and again after you take them out of the dishwasher?

All of these are signs that it’s time to retire that dishwasher your grandparents gave you when you first got married, the one that looked so shiny in the kitchen in that first house you bought. Remember that house? That’s the house that didn’t even have a driveway, it was a dirt patch, and when you tried to shovel the dirt in the winter to get the snow off so you could get the car out, it clumped up, stopping the shovel and shoving the handle into your stomach, or other major pain centers.

Garlic Press

If you’ve ever tried to free the sweet, gorgeous garlic inside the garlic bulb, you’ll understand the value of a good garlic press. Otherwise, you’re stuck peeling the garlic off of the clove, pushing down on them with the side of the knife like you’re trying to squash bugs, attempting to separate the skin from the garlic, as it sticks to your fingers and refuses to let go. Give it up people and get a decent garlic press.

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Working Stove

A working stove is critical to being able to cook meals for your family. When you turn on the burners, do they make a clicking sound that indicate they are trying to light, but it takes 85 seconds before they do?

This is an indication that your stove is waiting for that critical day when it will blow up, sending you, the kitchen and every thing in it shooting high into the air, creating a new spectacle that your town will sell tickets to and make a special day out of, one that tourists will come to from around the state.

Cold Refrigerator

A refrigerator has a simple job. Keep food cold. If you’ve ever taken on a gallon of milk and poured yourself a nice cool glass, only to get the sudden realization that it’s as warm as the surface of a high school asphalt playground, your refrigerator is not doing its job.

Level Kitchen Table

Does your kitchen table wobble like it’s in a 7.8 earthquake in Southern California? A wobbly kitchen table is the sign of a kitchen that is out of control. People come to the kitchen to share stories and have good conversations with family and friends. A wobbly table suggests their world is upside down, that it is not stable.

You don’t want a table that reflects a chaotic family structure. If your kitchen table is wobbly, now’s the time to jam a phone book from 1985 under there, or take an old stack of Popular Mechanics Magazines and wedge them in tight. Do what you have to do, and establish trust again in your family unit.

Big Bowl

There is nothing worse than trying to mix a bunch of ingredients that you read about it some cookbook or online site, and you don’t have a bowl big enough to handle all of the food? Amiright? It seems like a little thing, but a big bowl is critical to the success of many meals, you’ll shoot yourself if you don’t have one.

Sure, it would be great to have a professional bowl used by chefs that you bought at the local restaurant supply store, but the big bowl is so important, don’t hesitate to use the bright purple one that you found at the dollar store.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.