7 Things You Should Never Say To An NHL Coach Who Wants You To Play Goalie After The Starter Gets Injured

He’s desperate. The starting goalie is now badly injured, and there is no backup. He points at you in the stands and asks you to get in the game.

Do not use any of these responses: “I would like to help, but…

1. I just had 6 beers in the VIP area.

2. I can’t play goalie, but let me know if you need a left wing.

3. I can’t play goalie, but I’ll take a shift running the goal light.

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Courtesy Internet Archive

4. Are you serious? The last time I played hockey Jimmy Carter was in office.

5. I don’t think you are offering enough. Throw in some season tickets and I’ll strap on the skates.

6. I’m afraid you are going to trade me to Buffalo after the game.

7. I’ll tell you what — YOU play goal and let me coach the team. Deal?

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.