9-Year-Old Qualifies For 2015 US Open at Chambers Bay

The golfing world was stunned earlier today when Cole Hammer, a 15-year-old from Houston, Texas, became the third youngest player in history to qualify for the U.S. Open. The tournament will take place at Chambers Bay on Puget Sound in Washington beginning Jun 18-21, 2015.

No sooner had that news arrived, but more stunning news came over the news wire. Torr Marquiss, a 9-year-old boy from Backwater, Oklahoma, also qualified for the US Open as well. He broke the record to become the youngest person ever to qualify.

Even more amazing, he did it with hand-me-down clubs. “Yeah, I used ‘dem old Ben Hogans my great-grand-daddy give me when I was jus’ 5 years old. He used ’em for years ’til his heart gave out from all de moonshine and whatnot. Heck, I didn’t want ’em, but I used ’em to hit rocks in ‘ol Backwater Lagoon. ‘For too long I was hittin’ right pritty shots.”

He shots were so “pritty,” a passing motorist invited him to play at Backwater Country Club one Tuesday morning. He set the course record on his first round. It wasn’t long after that he threw his hat in for the Open qualifying round and won it outright.

Torr spends most of his time skipping rocks, shooting off illegal fireworks and stealing cookies. “I dun tol’ him I kitch him in the dang cookies again, I’m goin’ take a switch to his hide. But he don’t lissen. He loves dem cookies,” said his grandma.

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.