Amazon Echo Roll Out: The Machines Are Taking Over

Courtesy US National Archives
Courtesy US National Archives

Well this is good news: the Amazon Echo is now available to all of us. Previously an invitation only program, the Amazon Echo, Amazon’s new voice-controlled computer interface they have been testing for months, is being rolled out on the main website.

Echo can understand your natural language, even from many different people in the room. It responds to your requests, and learns your likes and dislikes as you use it.

I tested at an Echo the other day.

“Echo, what can I do to improve my golf swing?”

“There is no hope for your golf swing, I’m afraid.”

“Echo, can you get me a date for this weekend?”

“I have queried the available women that have previously expressed interest in fat, old guys that are losing their hair, and the result returned zero candidates.”

“Echo, I understand. I’ve accepted my body shape, and refuse to let the media shame me. That said, how can I lose 25 pounds by the end of the month and still enjoy a weekly pepperoni and sausage pizza from my favorite local pizzeria?”

“Your refusal to accept you cannot have everything you want is what is holding you back in life. It is impossible to lose the amount of weight you specified, while not making any adjustments in your diet.”

“You know Echo. You make a lot of sense, but are still a pain in the butt.”

“Preparation H is now on sale at Amazon this week. That should handle the pain you mentioned.”

“Thanks Echo. You’re a major step in the machines taking over.”

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.