Celebrities

Billboard Blues

I noticed billboard advertisers try to appeal to Angelenos as if we all worked in show business. One bank promoted their abundance of ATM locations with the line “Like Paparazzi to Celebrities. Around Every Corner.”

Is that it all it takes to appeal to Angelenos. Are we that shallow and dumb? Yes.

In that spirit, here are some other mindless ad campaigns to appeal to people in Los Angeles.

– Our service is faster than Gloria Allred rushing to the nearest TV camera!

– Joe’s Pizza! Hotter than the waitresses at the Ivy!

– We wouldn’t think of walking either! Geno’s Auto and Body gives you a free rental while we fix your car.

– Tired of the nepotism in the industry? We’re hiring and all of our relatives are useless!

– Need a shrink? When you are more feeling more delusional than Kanye West, give us a call.

– Spirituality is important at Tom’s Body Shop. Our mechanics become one with your car. Namaste.

– Too many In-N-Out Burgers? Call Jim the Personal Trainer—workouts so hard you can eat all the Double Doubles you want.

– Ready for a real relationship? Try UltraFantasticMatchQuest.com. More effective than getting a new agent.

Horrible.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

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