I have no idea what you are talking about

I waited with a small group outside the Burbank Central library for it to open. One lady said to a man who just walked up, “Hey, Ollie, I used my Del Taco Senior Discount.”

“Really?” the man laughed. “Great!”

“Del Taco has a senior discount?” I asked the lady.

“Nope,” she said, shaking her head.

“You just told Ollie here you used your Del Taco Senior Discount. What is it?

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” she said.

I gave up, turned to Ollie and said, “Do they have good Wi-fi here?”

“A Y?” Ollie said. “There is a YMCA downtown.”

“No, do they have good WI-FI here?

“Oh, man, I don’t know about any of that stuff.”

Thank goodness the doors opened.

7 Legendary Bars at Ohio University

Ohio University has long been known as a party school. True, it has world-renowned teaching in journalism, broadcasting, business, engineering and other disciplines, but the school’s partying ways herald back to its very founding.

Over the years, seven bars have emerged as legends among some very stiff competition.

Klippie’s Cold Room – 1880s

Klippie’s started out as a back room operation where the proprietor sold shots out of paper cups to students and faculty. In those days, it was still considered blasphemous by good citizens to drink alcohol, so Klippie kept it on the down low in the back. According to Klippie, “The more conservative members of the town and university were my biggest customers.”

Muddy’s – early 1900s

Named for the mud fest that the whole town became after the spring rains and subsequent flooding of the the Hocking River, Muddy’s was renowned in Uptown Athens. One story talks about the dean of the business school driving his new Ford Model T into the back door in the alley at Muddy’s. The wall caved in, so the owner just set up tables and kept serving. An alumni later remembered, “It stayed that way for 40 years till they sold the place and it became a donut shop.”

Bobcat Walk – 1920s

Bobcat Walk was at the far end of Court Street, Athens’ main drag where most of the bars are located. In the mid-1920s, Chester Jergens from Cleveland created a tradition named after the bar. At closing time, students stumbled up Court Street toward the College Green, singing the school fight song as loudly as they could, stopping occasionally to set fires and roast hot dogs in the middle of the street. The Bobcat Walk tradition died out only a few years later.

Bumper’s – 1930s

Like Klippie’s before it, Bumper’s did its best business when alcohol was frowned upon by society at large. During prohibition, Bumper created an underground bar that included gambling tables, dancing girls, and even stand-up comedy. Students and faculty in the know descended the stairs to the secret room for fun and laughter until the sun came up the next morning. One nationally-known professor racked up huge debts at the poker tables. Bumper and his cronies held him upside down by the heels from Memorial Auditorium before his wife came to the rescue, rushing across the College Green with wads of money in her hands to save his life.

Cat’s Claw – 1940s

As the country’s fighting men and women came back to campus after the war, they immediately went to Cat’s Claw to catch up on lost partying time. Known for its rowdy mix of Greeks and jocks, Cat’s Claw almost burned to the ground after two fraternities got into a rumble over a young blonde from Pittsburgh. “She was the girlfriend of one of the guys from the biggest fraternity on campus, and this other kid from another fraternity started getting too chummy with her, I guess,” said one bystander. “They started shoving each other, and the whole place erupted into a rumble and fires broke out. The next thing I knew the Athens police were outside, storming the place with billy clubs. I still have a welt on my head.”

Banker’s Hours – 1950s

Set in an old bank that went out of business, Banker’s Hours appealed to poor students and faculty members alike. The bar was shut down when a freshman was inadvertently locked in the bank vault turned VIP room in May, and wasn’t found until the following September. Remarkably, the student survived on Jaegermeister and bar food he found in the vault, but soon transferred to Rutgers.

Raddy’s – 1960s

Raddy’s was one of the first Athens taverns to appeal to the growing counter culture movement that was sweeping across Athens and the country in the 1960s. Raddy was known to grow a particularly strong strain of plant favored by locals and students alike. Raddy’s closed after he was busted for selling his potent brand from behind the bar, and allowing smoking of it on his back patio. Neighbors complained about the noise and the billows of smoke wafting through the alley made them constantly hungry and paranoid.

7 Things I Learned My Freshman Year in College

Freshman year in college is a major transition, leaving the cocoon of high school where nasty rumors and gossip rule the day, to the challenges of college where nasty rumors and gossip rule the day. Here are seven things I learned my freshman year.

1. Prepare for eating dining hall food by lining your stomach with three inches of cement.

2. You can meet any college girl you want as long as you agree to carry her books and all her sorority sister’s books as well.

3. To earn money, get a job as a lifeguard at the library. Yes, the library. Set up one of those lifeguard stands in the study area. Blow your whistle every hour and shout, “Who runs the show, now, maggots?”

4. Stay on top of your studying. If you do get behind, stay awake the last two weeks of the quarter, studying around the clock, by filling the school pool with coffee — swim two laps every 5 minutes, swallowing a mouthful of coffee on every third stroke.

5. To keep from getting homesick, put a giant picture of your mom’s meatloaf in the window of your dorm. You always hated that meatloaf.

6. Get out of the dorm! Meet new people! Chess club? Yes, chess club!

7. Stop random students on the quad and say, “Listen, kid, whatever you did, you’ll feel better if you confess!”

The Most Beautiful Campuses in America

Some college campuses are incredibly beautiful. Stately buildings, lush lawns, big trees and charm everywhere.

I’ve heard of students who admitted to attending a university just based on the beauty of the campus alone. It was “love at first sight.”

I believe it. Here are some of the most beautiful campuses in America.

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Class Gateway at Ohio University - Courtesy Ed via Wikimedia Commons - CC-BY-SA-3.0
Class Gateway at Ohio University – Courtesy Ed via Wikimedia Commons – CC-BY-SA-3.0

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

"CampusOU". Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons
Ohio University/Athens. Ohio (“CampusOU”. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons)

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Convocation Center at Ohio University - Courtesy Greenstrat via Wikimedia Commons
Convocation Center at Ohio University – Courtesy Greenstrat via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Stocker Center at Ohio University - Courtesy Ottawa80 via Wikimedia Commons
Stocker Center at Ohio University – Courtesy Ottawa80 via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

South Green at Ohio University - Courtesy Ak169808 via Wikimedia Commons
South Green at Ohio University – Courtesy Ak169808 via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Scripps Hall at Ohio University - Courtesy Ed via Wikimedia Commons
Scripps Hall at Ohio University – Courtesy Ed via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Ping Center at Ohio University - Courtesy Ed! via Wikimedia Commons
Ping Center at Ohio University – Courtesy Ed! via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

McGuffey Hall at Ohio University - Courtesy Ed! via Wikimedia Commons
McGuffey Hall at Ohio University – Courtesy Ed! via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

University Golf Course at Ohio University - Courtesy Wasted Time R via Wikimedia Commons
University Golf Course at Ohio University – Courtesy Wasted Time R via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Grand Hallway at Ohio University - Courtesy Oat via Wikimedia Commons
Grand Hallway at Ohio University – Courtesy Oat via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Back of Scripps Hall at Ohio University - Courtesy Rhilex via Wikimedia Commons
Back of Scripps Hall at Ohio University – Courtesy Rhilex via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Ridges Auditorium at Ohio University - Courtesy OhioOat via Wikimedia Commons
Ridges Auditorium at Ohio University – Courtesy OhioOat via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Baker Center at Ohio University - Courtesy George23520 via Wikimedia Commons
Baker Center at Ohio University – Courtesy George23520 via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Cutler Hall at Ohio University - Ottawa80 via Wikimedia Commons
Cutler Hall at Ohio University – Ottawa80 via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Baker Center at Ohio University - Courtesy Agrimes via Wikimedia Commons
Baker Center at Ohio University – Courtesy Agrimes via Wikimedia Commons

 

Ohio University/ Athens, OH

Soldiers and Sailors Monument on College Green at Ohio University - Kayura Mendonza via Wikimedia Commons
Soldiers and Sailors Monument on College Green at Ohio University – Kayura Mendonza via Wikimedia Commons

 

21 Most Beautiful College Campuses in America

Sorry if you didn’t go to these schools and your campus looks like a city dump transitioning to a US Air Force bomb testing site.

Don’t worry  – you can still go to grad school at any one of these 21 most beautiful college campuses in America.

 

University of Chronic Major Switchers/ Walla Walla, WA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

College of Cricked Necks/ Ben Wa, SD

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of Pop Bottle Whistlers/ Sioux City, IA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

College of Complex Personalities/ Spring Load, ID

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

West Cracked Sidewalk College/ Skip To My Lou, AZ

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of Peanut Brittle/ Peanut Center, PA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Super Liberal College and Horse Farm/ Hunt Way, KY

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Microsoft Institute of Windows/ Enticing, FL

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Smells College/ Disinfectant, OH

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

Sarah Binder Clip College/ Paper Stack, IN

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Convenient Clothes Brush College/ Campus Spot, OR

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Jamison-Kidney Stones College/ Kamluyster Unit, MI

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

College of Seductive Secrets/ Pleasant Point, ME

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of Quiet Introverts/ I’d Rather Read, IA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Starched Shirts Business School/ Sharp Elbows, NY

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

Low Flow College/ Commode, VA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of the Home Schooled/ Lack of Social Skills, CO

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Selfie College/ It’s All About Me, TX

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of Hammers and Nails/ Basement Rehab, CT

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

West-South-Northern School of Frozen Pipes/ Flooded Kitchen, MO

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Message In a Bottle College/ Police Squad, FL

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

 

5 Lies Bowling Green State University Students Tell Themselves

LOC - travel - [Trinity College, Oxford, England]  (LOC) 9368711875

1. I’ve never sang “Ay Ziggy Zoomba” in the house alone.

2. The Metamorphosis Rock doesn’t scare the heck out of me.

3. I enjoy not being known at all outside the state of Ohio and southern Michigan.

4. I am going to our state of the art sports training facility to work out — I am NOT wasting the afternoon watching Netflix and eating Taco Bell.

5. I’ve never wondered why they didn’t put a Big Boy restaurant in the Student Union.

Married Couple Forget Their Elementary Schools

Courtesy US National Archives
Courtesy US National Archives

A local married couple recently forgot what elementary schools they attended. In a discussion on what schools they attended over the years, both were accurate in reporting the name of their middle and high schools.

Things broke down when they mentioned their elementary schools.

“I went to Carver. I remember because they knocked it down four years after I left,” she said.

“You didn’t go to Carver. You went to Hudson like the rest of us,” he said. “You just acted like you were too good for the rest of us, even at 9 years old.”

“You DID NOT go to Hudson. That’s where the juvy kids went. You went to Lincoln! Don’t you remember they called your parents who had to come and get you when you had an accident?”

“What are you talking about? I never had an accident.”

5 Ohio University Women Remember Their Craziest College Story

Five Ohio University alumnae reflect fondly on some crazy moments during their years at “Harvard on the Hocking.”

 

Ofra Schott – Boston, MA

pd - lady - woman - student - college - 14785030115

I was studying in the Pi Phi House when some boys from Beta Theta Pi stormed the entrance and stole a bunch of photo composites. Edna’s family owned a construction company, so we drover a crane over to the Beta house and knocked it down with a wrecking ball. Half of them slept through it.

 

Freda Geunabaum – Malmo, Sweden

pd - lady - woman - student - college - 14598517897

I arrived from Sweden a day before the first day of classes. Seven fellows streaked across the College Green the moment I got off the bus. I wondered if they did that for every girl.

 

Brandy Leterschauser – Lexington, KY

pd - lady - woman - student - college - 14598519287

A bunch of us were driving around in Atwell Fiedler’s convertible. He took the wrong way down a one-way street. A car came the other way. He hit the brakes so hard Vonn Curmi shot into the second floor window of The Greenery.

 

Dareau Merring – Columbus, OH

pd - lady - woman - student - college - 14782678334

My father was a major financial contributor to the school and made it so I could not go anywhere without a chaperone. One time Mary Vincelli and I snuck out and spent the whole night at the Union listening to ska bands and breathing the funny air there.

 

Jewel Basile – Cleveland, OH

pd - lady - woman - student - college - 14784682012

Paul Newman was in my class. He was a film major and they shot an early version of Butch Cassidy here. It was called Butch Bobcat and the Hangover Kid.

5 Lies Ohio University Students Tell Themselves

1. I’m glad my school is in the middle of nowhere. I don’t need convenient access to a variety of goods and services.

2. I love the exercise I get from walking these hills.

3. I’m glad I didn’t go to Ohio State. I really enjoy the crunching sound the cicadas here make when I walk over 17,000 of them on the way to class.

4. I never vandalized some cars in Oxford, Ohio after the Miami game that one time.

5. I’m glad I graduated early. I really wasn’t enjoying the parties here.