I Read It in the Newspapers

People often say, “Well, I only know what I read in the newspapers,” or “I read it in the newspapers.”

No they didn’t. Almost nobody reads actual newspapers.

Now it’s just an expression like, “It’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.”

Sliced bread was invented in 1912 and in common use by 1928. We’ve had WAY better things since sliced bread.

But I guess saying, “I read it in the newspaper” sounds much better than, “I read it on my phone while on the throne.”

 

They Were Called Newspapers, Son, And They Were Heavy

DOCUMERICA-William Strode-us national archives----Louisville Newspapers Tell The Story Of The Potential Disaster. A Liquid Chlorine Barge Threatened T 7651255714
Courtesy US National Archives via Flickr Commons

Son: “Dad, what is that pile?”

Father: “Son, those are newspapers. Every major city had one, and some even had two that were published every day. And on Sunday, the newspaper was so heavy you could throw out a hip trying to carry it in from the front porch. That’s how Grandma ended up in the convalescent center.”

7 Amazing Facts About Gilligan’s Island

LOC - travel - [Jersey, Plemont Caves and Needle Rock, Channel Islands] (LOC) 8369837365
Courtesy Library of Congress
When Gilligan’s Island ruled the airwaves, few people knew these amazing facts about the show.

  1. The Minnow was a smuggling operation.
  2. The Professor only had a 2-year degree.
  3. Gilligan was 97-years-old.
  4. Mary Ann and Ginger are sisters.
  5. The Howells made their money in the couch cushion business.
  6. The third season of Survivor was shot on Gilligan’s Island.
  7. The Skipper was exactly twice Gilligan’s weight.

Hyperlocal News Website Employs Town Crier

In a bid to stand out in the extremely competitive hyperlocal news industry, the Norfolk Neighbor site is employing town criers to deliver news of interest to people walking in the square.

 

Courtesy The British Library
Courtesy The British Library

 

The town crier blows a trumpet or rings a bell to gain attention, and then delivers news to townspeople and visitors.

High School Senior Creates Fakes Story He Made $72 Milllion Trading Stocks

Recently New York magazine reported a high school senior at Stuyvesant High School in Manhattan made $72 million trading stocks. The story went viral and was reported by news outlets around the world. Last night the student and his friend confessed the whole story was faked.

Fake news stories are rampant lately. The 24-hour news cycle means news organizations put much more emphasis on speed than accuracy. Here are more news stories that have proven to be faked:

–California is NOT planning on buying giant Velcro strips to keep the state from sliding into the sea after the next great earthquake.

–Democrats are NOT planning to attend Republican strategy sessions to learn how to win elections.

–Sony Pictures is NOT planning to send executives to sensitivity training.

–After a 30-0 loss to the Bengals, the Cleveland Browns are NOT planning to send rookie quarterback Johnny Manziel to the Canadian Football League for 3 players, a case of Molson and a side of Canadian bacon.

–In the area of net neutrality, cable companies were NOT secretly approved for special high speed Internet lanes for cat videos.

–Chris Christie will NOT rebut claims he is a Dallas Cowboys fan with his own book, “Me and MetLife Stadium – A Love Affair.”

–New Yorkers are NOT “going green” by riding kangaroos to work.

–Donald Trump will NOT be suing the media for going a day without his picture being published.

–Facebook will NOT be cutting down on users sending Candy Crush notifications by sending electric shocks to the offenders.