At the races

Sometimes the simplest solution is the best one

Some bank robbers in Guadalajara moved up the walkway to the bank entrance, preparing to make a quick score and a nice payday.

In some parts of the world such as this, bank robberies are a constant threat. Banks spends millions to get the latest security equipment, cameras and software.

Bank workers are constantly trained on the latest techniques and procedures to try to thwart the bad guys.

One worker called upon this training when he saw the trio of would-be thieves walking toward the front entrance. What did he do?

He locked the front door.

That’s it.

He locked the door and they walked away.

A tip of the bank visor to this guy — here’s to simple solutions.

And quick thinking.

How To Go From Poor To Rich

Being poor sucks. Here are several ways to get rich quick.

 

Become a Russian Business Owner

Courtesy Internet Archive
Courtesy Internet Archive

You can become rich quick in Russian business. Sure, you have to give Putin his split, but there is lots of opportunity to make big bucks.

Start the Next Apple Computer

Courtesy Death to the Stock Photo
Courtesy Death to the Stock Photo

Apple is a successful computer company, but they will fade eventually. You will be in the shadows, waiting for them to fall.

Create An Adapter That Lets Gas Engines Run on Water

Courtesy SMU Central University Libraries via Flickr Commons
Courtesy SMU Central University Libraries via Flickr Commons

This is easier than it sounds. All the material is on the Internet. Somebody just needs to put it together — somebody like you.

Build The Madonna Museum

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

Madonna will eventually have her own museum if she doesn’t already. Give her a call and get it cracking.

Hire Identical Quintuplets To Rob Five Banks at Once

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Locate a set of identical quintuplets and train them to rob five banks in the same city on the same day.

As you can see, there are lots of ways to get rich. Which one are you going to try?

At the races

Bought A Car and Then Lost Your Job? Here is What To Do

Did you just buy a car and then find out you are getting laid off? No problem – here are 5 options you can choose from.

1. Take it back to Nordstrom. They take everything back.

2. Use the car to get a job at Uber. Use a wireless headset while working at Uber to search for a new job.

3. Melt the car down into 4 blocks of steel and rubber, sell them as modern art for $50,000 each.

4. Sell the car to your neighbor. To sweeten the deal, tell him you’ll throw in his edge-trimmer you borrowed three years ago and never returned.

5. Drive the car at high speed through the streets of the city, head out to the cliffs outside of town, shoot off the cliff at 120mph, leap from the car at the last minute, tell the insurance company it had faulty brakes.

At the races

7 Things The World’s Richest People Don’t Even Think About Doing

Wanna be rich? You have to think rich. Or better yet, act rich. Here are seven things rich people never do.

1. Paint giant letters on their bodies in sub-zero temps at ball games.

2. Rush through Walmart yelling, “Where the thongs be at?”

3. Saving left over bits of wire over 20 years and shaping them into transistor radios.

4. Asking to see the secret menu. Rich people ask for the Double Secret menu.

processed - coins - money - cash - investing - Image from page 54 of Monograph of United States cents and half cents issued between the years 1793  14760551916

5. Holding eye contact with dogs.

6. Asking strange people to donate to a charity called you.

7. Cold-calling homeowners at dinner-time and saying, “Sir, these are the very last vegetable launchers in stock. Do you want one or not??!!”

At the races

How To Tip Properly

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to tip people that provide services in your life. Don’t worry, here are some general guidelines on how to tip!

Waiter/ Waitress

This is a difficult job that when done right deserves a generous tip. Generally you want to give them the keys to your car as a fair compensation

Dog Groomer

Dog grooming is harder than it looks. To adequately tip your dog groomer, go ahead and give them your dog.

Doorman

At the end of a long day, it’s a pleasure to have a helpful, friendly doorman in your building lobby. When they give you excellent assistance, it is customary to sign over the mortgage of your luxury condominium to them.

Hairstylist

Very few personal grooming details make as big an impact on your self-esteem and success in the world as your hairstyle. For that reason, go ahead and leave one of your children with the hairstylist as reasonable compensation.

Taxi Driver

Did you know that driving a taxi is one of the most dangerous occupations in the world? When you have a satisfactory experience with a taxi driver, it is fair to tip him or her $2500 to $3000.

Tour Guide

Did you just have an amazing tour guide show you around a foreign city or locale? What do you tip them? Don’t worry, it is accepted around the world to leave all of your luggage with the tour guide and let them keep what they want.

These are some of the currently accepted methods of tipping the important people providing important services in our lives. You are welcome to give larger tips than what is indicated here; this is just a guideline. The important thing to remember is a tip should reflect the level of service you received.