Warning From God

In the news…

An 11-year-old girl in Brazil is working miracles there — her mother said they knew from the time she was a baby that she was an instrument of God. My mother told me they knew from the time I was a baby I was a warning from God: “Don’t have any more kids, or I’ll send more trouble like this one.”

Alibaba billionaire founder Jack Ma said he was probably happier back when he was making $12 a month. Here’s a man who really needs a stress ball.


Poetry Readings and Stolen Bras

In the news…

A dog in Denver reappeared after vanishing four years ago. Just like the Broncos winning cycle.

Poetry readings have been banned from Atlantic City’s summer farmer’s markets. They didn’t want them using words Trump couldn’t understand.

In NJ, A judge ruled that twins in a paternity case have different fathers. That’s going to be an awkard Father-Daughter day at the elementary school.

A Canadian goose is licking its wounds after a cigarette sparked a fire in its nest. Witnesses say his goose was cooked.

A man is accused of stealing a brand new riding mower from a Walmart. He said he did it becuase he was so drunk he couldn’t find the original mower he drove TO the Walmart.

A Japanese man left a $100,000 diamond-encrusted watch behind at a Newark airport. When he returned to pick it up, the security agent said, “Ay! I got your diamond-covered watch right here!”

Police arrested a bank robber after following his Instragram posts of the crime. He also posted to YouTube, Flickr, SmugMug, Twitter, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Google+ and Snapchat. When did this guy have time to rob banks?

A woman was arrested after allegedly running a crack delivery service from a truck. She wasn’t arrested for selling drugs, but for playing that annoying ice cream truck song over the loudspeaker.

A Florida man is suing a hospital after his leg was found in the trash with his name tag still on it. Police found it and called to find out if he was a victim of foul play. He said he didn’t kneed the leg, but was mad they kicked it to the curb so casually.

$63,000 of old, moldy bills were found in plastic bag at a park in Pennsylvania. Which, coincidentally, is my new rap name: Old Moldy Bills.

Speaking of Pennsylvania, in Wilkes-Barre, two women were being sought by police for stealing hundreds of Victoria’s Secret bras worth thousands of dollars. They escaped with the help of a drunk guy on a riding mower.

Brian Williams Misremembers and Other Tales

Brian Williams, long-time anchor of the top-rated NBC network newscast, is in a firestorm of controversy. If you have been in a cave the last few days, he was called out on his Facebook page by a veteran who said Mr. Williams was never in a Chinook helicopter that took RPG fire in Iraq in 2003. That runs counter to a story he has often told, including on the David Letterman show, where he says he was in a helicopter that was part of a group of three “birds” that were delivering pieces of a bridge. One of the three choppers took a hit from an RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade).

Mr. Williams has repeatedly said, or implied strongly that he was in the helicopter that got hit, most recently during a ceremony at a New York Rangers game honoring another veteran. In a post on the NBC news Facebook page about the Rangers event, one or more veterans left comments that Mr. Williams was never in the “bird” that was struck.

One thing led to another, and Mr. Williams apologized on air, saying he misremembered the events. The controversy grew when his apology seemed half-hearted and unconvincing.

Today, he suspended himself from his duties for a few days while an internal NBC news team is investigating his level of involvement in a number of events.

In addition to the RPG incident, here are the other stories the internal team is rechecking.

Riding With Patton During The Waning Months of WWII

During a tribute to the American military, Mr. Williams claimed he was in the tank with General George Patton as he and other military units swept through Europe in the Western Allied Invasion of Germany, hastening Germany’s surrender and the end of World War II.

Wright Brothers First Flight

In an interview with a descendant of Orville Wright, Mr. Williams mentioned he was on the famous first flight at Kitty Hawk. When the relative explained the small plane could only hold one person, Mr. Williams said he was was hanging on the tail to prevent the wind from overpowering the machine.

Signing of The Declaration of Independence

During a 4th of July NBC special, Mr. Williams suggested strongly that he was one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence of the United States. When pressed on this claim, he said his signature has always been unintelligible due to an old baseball injury, and as such cannot be read for proof.

Benjamin Franklin Discovers Electricity

At a 4th of July celebration in Philadelphia in 2001, Mr. Williams mentioned he was Benjamin Franklin’s assistant in July of 1752 when Franklin conducted his famous kite experiment. He said it was he who came up with the idea to use a key, as Mr. Franklin was using a bell which was too heavy for the kite.

Gutenberg Printing Press

At the opening of a public library in New Jersey in 2002, Williams said that shortly after Johannes Gutenberg invented movable type and the printing press around 1450, Mr. Williams began the first nightly news “broadcast,” standing on street corners in Strasbourg while reading the days freshly printed news to a still largely illiterate public.

Some supporters of Mr. Williams says that while there is no evidence he was involved with any of these events, there is also no evidence that he was not.