Astonishing Brexit Vote Sparks Fears of Further EU Defections

The Brexit, or “British Exit” vote is in, and many people are shocked the UK voted to leave the European Union.

Now experts are predicting a domino effect as other countries in the EU consider the same thing.

Belgium

Angry voters in Belgium have secheduled a vote for later this year some are calling “Belloutahereyo.”

France

One of the largest countries in the EU is home to a small contingent of very vocal traditionalists who think France is losing its way of life. In September they vote on whether to leave in the “Freeyalater.”

Germany

With the best economy in the EU, it would be a devastating blow if Germany leaves. Many Germans don’t care, they just want out. In November they are set to vote on “Gerpature,” or German Departure.

Italy

Italians are nothing if not passionate about their country, food, architecture, style and traditions. A hard core group of voters want to leave the EU, and they vote on the process this fall in the “Italaway.”

Luxembourg

Luxembourg is a key player of the EU. In fact, Luxembourg City is one of the three capitals of the European Union along with Brussels and Strasbourg. Surely the January 2017 “Luxembargo” vote will keep them in the group. Or will it?

The Netherlands

The Dutch have a long and distinguished history. Are they losing their identity just to fit in the EU? Voters make themselves heard later this year when they have a chance to vote in the “Neverland.”

Border Control Checkpoints at the Local Mall

They can’t even get border control right.

Did you know we have more than 70 interior border control checkpoints, located anywhere from 25 to 75 miles inside the country?

Let me restate that. These…border…checkpoints are up to 75 miles INSIDE the country.

Do they not have Google Maps?

“Are you an American citizen?”

That’s what they ask.

I mess with them: “I’m half American, half Irish. My mom was a God-fearing American and my dad was a leprechaun. Horrible father but he did make a great breakfast cereal.”

Why stop at 75? How about 200 miles? Why not 300 miles? Why not have them all over the country?

In shopping malls.

In gas stations: “There’s your change and I need to know if you are an American citizen.”

At the theater: “Here’s your Diet Coke and Twizzlers, and one last thing — are you an American citizen?”

“I refuse to answer your question!” you say.

“Sir, pull over into secondary, right over there by the popcorn machine.”

Trump Has Another Protester Beat Up

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Donald Trump had another protester beat up today in a rally this week outside Harlingen, TX. Donald Heyhothatsmyarm was beat up by Trump security personnel and a group of supporters after he began yelling during Trump’s speech. That’s the 500th beat down of a protester in the Trump campaign.

Mr. Heyhothatsmyarm was initially quiet, but began yelling about halfway through the speech. “Donald Trump’s ideas are bankrupt!” he cried.

Mr. Trump gave his team a secret signal, and they descended on the protester with force. Pumped up Trump supporters also pulled their Conceal Carry Weapons on Mr. Heyhothatsmyarm, but were told to stand down by Trump.

The victim is listed in critical condition at Harlingen St. Mary’s Memorial Hospital. He said he is feeling better, and would do it again. His roommate in the hospital was also beat up by Trump’s staff at a different rally.