You have things to do. You are in a hurry. Go, go, go. Oops, here comes la policia. Looks like a ticket.
Well, if you live in one of the seven cities, you have a good chance of getting out of it. Here are the secrets to get out of tickets in each town.
The key to get out of a ticket in Boston is to tell the police your brother works undercover in Braintree. If the officer asks you his name, say you don’t want to compromise his identity. This works 78 percent of the time.
Oklahoma City, OK
Oklahoma City police are notorious for letting people out of tickets if they give them a dozen Dunkin Donuts in specially marked boxes with the Thunder logo on top. This works 82 percent of the time.
Walla Walla, WA
Stopped in Walla Walla, WA? Say that you were on you way to a moose convention. You were speeding because you are the emcee and a moose gave you the wrong starting time. This works 84 percent of the time.
“Ma’am, I am Warren Buffet’s personal chef. If you don’t let me go, I’ll blame you for Warren’s dinner being late.” This works 85 percent of the time.
Des Moines, IA
“Sir, I am transporting some pickled relish to the good people of Altoona. Are you going to deny them their right to pickled relish?” This works 89 percent of the time.
“Listen, here’s the deal. I’m full of gumption, gummy bears and my love of UVA Basketball. You let me off, and I’ll get you some sweet, sweet gummies and UVA tix.” Works 93 percent of the time.
“Thank you for pulling me over for speeding, officer. It gives me the opportunity to tell you about my MLM opportunity.” Use this line, and you will get out of 100 percent of tickets.
This driver in Calgary needs some more training on how car steering works. They find it impossible to get out of this parking lot without smashing into a car.
Hey, I lived in Edmonton. I know it’s not easy driving in Canada. But sometimes you need to think out of the box. Go one way in order to turn around and go the other. Think of it as parking zen.
News reports said Calgary police had launched an investigation. Later they reported they had contacted the driver and the victims. Not much going on in Calgary?
Gotta-Valet Gal valets her car everywhere she goes. I’m not talking someone that valet parks at Lakers games and clubs in Hollywood. I mean everywhere! Stopping by the supermarket for some gum? Valet park! Running to the pet store for some Alpo for Mr. Cribs? Valet! If they offered valet parking at McDonald’s, she would do it in a second.
Maybe it’s not Gotta-Valet Gal’s fault. Growing up, there was valet parking at her pre-school. Her own house had valet parking just for the valet parkers.