Chipotle Announces Delivery Service to College Campuses

Courtesy University Library
Courtesy University Library

Praise the heavens and let’s a hear a big “Huzzah!” Chipotle is now delivering to college campuses. You don’t even have to get up from your fake naugahyde couch where you’ve been playing Call of Duty for 3 months straight!

Here are some tips to make your Chipotle delivery go as smooth as possible.

1. Do not ask your delivery person to sing the Chipotle song.

college-student-university-school-Image from page 72 of Gem Yearbook (1907) 14776899084

“I loved the song the first day I heard it. Now I sing it all day!”

 

2. Dressing up as a Chips and Roasted Chili-Corn Salsa side will not make your delivery arrive faster.

college-student-university-school-Image from page 63 of Gem Yearbook (1907) 14776861144

“What if I wear my Super Chicken outfit?”

 

3. Do not play Corn-hole with your Chicken Panini.

college-student-university-school-Image from page 63 of Gem Yearbook (1909) 14775381584

“I’m the world Panini cornhole champion!”

 

4. Do not tell the phone operator you used to date the line manager of the third shift.

college-student-university-school-Image from page 63 of Gem Yearbook (1909) 14777738545

“I had to let her go. Chipotle was number one in her life. Sadly.”

 

5. Do not ask how many calories are in the Turkey-Stuffed Peppers.

college-student-university-school-Image from page 64 of Gem Yearbook (1909) 14775383014

 “Turkey and Peppers is my second favorite dish.”

 

6. Never, ever mention the word “Gluten.”

college-student-university-school-Image from page 70 of Gem Yearbook (1907) 14778893122

 “Gluten is my friend.”

 

7. Please highlight your home’s location for the convenience of our drivers. Light the door on fire 5 minutes before our expected arrival.

college-student-university-school-Image from page 70 of Gem Yearbook (1909) 14591040900

“I lit the door on fire and the driver was there in one minute. Thanks, Chipotle.”

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.