At the races

County Tells Florida Man To Keep BBQ Smoke From Drifting into Neighbor’s Yard

County officials in Florida ordered a man to keep the smell of barbecue from leaving his property.

When a neighbor lady first complained, the police came out and sided with the barbecue man.

Let’s hear it for the police in Florida!

But the lady complained 15 more times until he was cited by county officials.

See, she felt the barbecue smell was a nuisance and would diminish her home value.

Bring down her home value?

The smell of barbecue will RAISE your home value.

The smell of good BBQ should be in every real estate ad:

“Charming starter home in up and coming area. Hardwood floors, lots of light from newer windows. Big kitchen and pantry. Enjoy summer nights in fenced-in yard while neighbor prepares Texas Pulled Pork and Memphis-Style Hickory Smoked Beef and Pork Ribs.”

“Three-bedroom colonial with grand entranceway. Great schools. Fully renovated kitchen and baths. Whole family will enjoy smell of neighbor slow cooking Mexican Street Corn with Lime Coconut drizzled on top, Cajun Deviled Eggs and Baked Sweet Potato Fries with Spicy Apricot dipping sauce.”

“This is the one! French Eclectic home designed by famed architects Upper and Crust in the gated community of Nose-in-the-Air. Elegant curving staircase winds above hardwood floors. Private back deck enhanced with the aroma of neighbor cooking Bacon Bourbon Barbecue Chicken Kebabs and Spice-Rubbed, Texas-Style Brisket on Texas Toast.”

They should use barbecue on the House Hunter’s TV show where prospective home buying couples look at three different homes and choose one.

“Welcome back to House Hunters. Felipe and Jill have a growing family and want to move out of their cramped apartment into their first home.

“The first house they looked at, Felipe liked the artisan tiles in the living room, while Jill liked the smell of Grilled Vegetable Kebabs Rubbed with Chile coming over from the neighbor’s yard.

“The second house, Jill liked the big back yard where the kids could play, and Felipe enjoyed the aroma of the neighbor cooking South of the Border Mac & Cheese, Sweet Vinegar Slaw, and Malty Maple Cornbread dripping in butter.

“But, at the end of the day, they decided on the third house. It was a little outside their budget, but Jill fell in love with the grand entranceway, Felipe loved the exposed concrete floors in the out-building he plans to turn into a workshop and they both loved the smells coming over the fence — Grilled Jalapeño Corn on the Cob, Honest Irving’s Root Beer Baked Beans, Stuffed Zucchini, Squash and Corn Casserole, and Praise the Lord Potato Salad.”

Home prices go down?

BBQ smells make your home value go UP.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.