Sports

Crazy Fun Facts About Texas A&M Aggies Football

Texas A&M has won three national titles and the Southwest Conference title 18 times. “My old girlfriend Maggie had 3 national titles as well. She was champion in never forgetting not one gahl darn thing,” said a student on campus.

Home games are played at Kyle field which has an official capacity of 83,000 spectators. Some people they’ve seen over 100,000 fans in there. Heck, that’s about the population of Green Bay. “You could fit the entire population of Green Bay, Wisconsin inside Kyle Field, as long as they didn’t wear those cheesehead hats. Especially the babies. No babies should wear cheese head hats. It gives them a crick in the neck,” said a sophomore health sciences major.

The Aggies started playing football in 1894. Also that year, moviegoers were able to see “Edison’s Kinetoscopic Record of a Sneeze” in theaters. This short documentary showed Fred Ott taking a pinch of snuff and sneezing. It was the very first copyrighted motion picture in the US. This was followed in 1895 by “Edison’s Kinetoscopic Record of a Burp” and in 1896 he finished the trilogy with “Edison’s Kinetoscopic Record of a Fart.”

Just after the AP Poll began, the Aggies went undefeated in 1939, earning a No. 1 ranking as well as a No. 1 ranking on 8 of 12 other polls. They had 12 polls? How many polls do you need? How would you like to be ranked by 12 different polls. “Well, my friends ranked me Number 1. My parents had me at Number 3. My dog ranks me anywhere from No. 1 to No. 100 depending on what snack I give him,” a College Station resident said.

The Aggies have a long-standing rivalry with the University of Texas. In fact, they mention Texas in their fight song called “Aggie War Hymn.” Created by J.V. “Pinky” Wilson, it goes like this:

Hail, hail, hail to the Aggies
Don’t put your lunch in plastic baggies
Good luck to sons of the Aggies
If we lose today it would be draggy
The skin of my face is full of craggies
I dated two girls both named maggie

Chiga-chiga-chiga-chiga-chiga-chiga-boom
Chiga-chiga-chiga-chiga-chiga-chiga-boom
Aggies! Baggies! Craggies! Maggies! Texas A&M!

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

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