Female Celebrities I Have Not Been Romantically Involved With

There’s a lot of gossip in this town. Lindsay Lohan allegedly released a list of her alleged former lovers a few years ago, allegedly.

Similarly, over the years there has been a list circulated of famous ladies that reportedly I have never been involved with romantically.

Rumors continue to float around town about who is not involved with me in any way, so here is an official list of women I have not been romantically involved with in the past.

Adriana Lima
Alanis Morissette
Alicia Keys
Alicia Silverstone
Amy Smart
Angelina Jolie
Angie Harmon
Ashlee Simpson
Ashley Judd
Ashley Olsen
Billie Piper
Bo Derek
Bridget Fonda
Britney Spears
Brittany Murphy
Brooke Burns
Brooke Shields
Calista Flockhart
Carly Pope
Carmen Electra
Carrie Underwood
Catherine Zeta Jones
Charlize Theron
Christie Brinkley
Christina Ricci
Christy Turlington
Cindy Crawford
Clare Danes
Claudia Schiffer
Courtney Cox
Courtney Love
Daisy Fuentes
Dana Delany
Daryl Hannah
Debra Messing
Demi Moore
Drew Barrymore
Elizabeth Hurley
Elle MacPherson
Eva Longoria
Geena Davis
Gisele Bundchen
Gwen Stefani
Gwenyth Paltrow
Halle Berry
Hilary Swank
Irene Jacob
Jada Pinkett-Smith
Jaime Bergman
Jaime Pressly
Jamie Lee Curtis
Jenna Jameson
Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Lopez
Jessica Beale
Jessica Simpson
Jodie Foster
Julie Roberts
Mandy Fisher
Mandy Moore
Marcia Cross
Mariah Carey
Marlo Thomas
Martina Mcbride
Mary Kate Olsen
Maryln Monroe
Meg Ryan
Melissa Joan Heart
Mena Suvari
Mia Sara
Michelle Pfeiffer
Minnie Driver
Naomi Campbell
Natalia Paris
Natalie Maines
Natalie Portman
Nelly Furtado
Neve Campbell
Nia Long
Nicole Kidman
Niki Taylor
Nikki Cox
Olivia Newton john
Pamela Anderson
Patricia Arquette
Paula Vazquez
Penelope Cruz
Piper Perabo
Portia de Rossi
Scarlett Johansson
Sofía Vergara
Tara Reid
Tea Leoni
Tyra Banks

I’ll update this list as other female celebrities make it painfully obvious I have no shot.

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.