Halfway True Fun Facts About Arizona State Sun Devils Football

The Arizona State Sun Devils have competed since way back in 1896 where they had a season long record of 0-1. Who was in charge of the scheduling that resulted in a season of one game? “Hell boy,” a student told a local newspaper. “There weren’t any teams to compete against. This was 1896. We barely even knew what football was. The first time I saw a football, I thought it was defective because it was pointy. I took it back to the general store for a return and the man said it was supposed to be like that. Tarnation!”

Currently they play at Sun Devil Stadium which seats over 71,000 people. That’s a lot of fans coming to see you play your sport every week. What if you had 71,000 people come out to see you play in your ping pong league? Sports announcer: “Stan has served the ball and it is in play. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth… And this crowd of 71,000 people is leaving for the exits in droves.”

Over the years, they have accumulated a record of 580-365-22. That’s a lot of athletic tape! “If you stretched out all the athletic tape we have used in over 900 games, it still would not be enough to tape Donald Trump’s hair to his head,” an equipment manager said.

There are several Sun Devils who have played in the NFL. The coaching staff has also had prominent names including Frank Kush, who led the team to their longest winning streak against the dreaded Wildcats of Arizona. After a distinguished career at ASU, he coached in Canada, in the NFL and in the USFL for the Arizona Outlaws. The Outlaws had moved to Arizona from Tulsa where they were the Oklahoma Outlaws, and actually had a respectable average attendance of just over 20,000.

“Of course there was good attendance,” said one fan. “There ain’t nothing else to do around here. There’s the rodeo and the state fair, where every year they have a pig made of bacon. You see what I’m saying? They made a pig out of strips of bacon! And that’s not all, they made a cow out of butter. Do you know how many pancakes you need eat to get rid of a cow made of butter?”

Mr. Kush played college ball at Michigan State in the early 50s, becoming an All-American player in 1952. A defensive lineman, he walked on the field at a whopping 5 foot seven, 150 pounds. Players today are well over 6 feet and weigh 200 250, 300 or more pounds! “Do you know how many pancakes a defensive lineman of today can eat?” an Tulsa resident said. “Probably 100 pancakes! And each one could probably polish off an entire pig made out of bacon strips! Don’t let these fellows near the state fair or they’ll have to close down the place. Then there will be nothing to do around here!”

After every field goal the marching band plays “Go, Go Devils!” Here are the lyrics so you can sing a long at games:

Go, go Devils
Go, go

Go, go Devils
Go, go

You’re belly is full of whiskies and beers
You gotta go right now is what I fear
Been tailgaiting for two days straight
Gotta go now before its too late

Go, go Devils
Go, go

Go, go Devils
Go, go

The keg was full but now it’s gone
The boys are kicking it round the lawn
Stan got some cash for a few 12 packs
Too late now, he’s passed out in the back

Go, go Devils
Go, go

Go, go Devils
Go, go


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

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