How To Become A Contestant on “Dancing With The Stars”

1.  Pick a celebrity that has not been on "Dancing With The Stars."


2. Visit the best costume shop in your town. You may need to travel to a bigger city– it should be at least the size of Akron or Topeka. Pick out masks and outfits that allow you to pass as the celebrity.


3. Contact the program and tell them you are ready to be on the show. You have to be a big enough star that they will accept right away– consider that in your strategy.


4. Call your mom and tell her you are going to be on "Dancing With the Stars" but you will be appearing as Pink.


5. Halfway through the season fake a fight with your dance partner. Pretend that the pressure is getting to you. Storm out of a practice session. Later claim that the "blow-up" made you a better team. 


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

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