How To Tell If Someone Is Cheating On You

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Courtesy National Library of Norway via Flickr Commons

Relationships are tough. It is distressing to think your partner is possibly cheating on you. But how can you tell? Look for the signs — here are seven signs someone may be cheating on you.

Ask a Friend

You may be too close to your relationship to tell if someone is cheating on you. Outside observers can often tell right away. So go ahead and ask a good friend if you think you are being cheated on. When they say, “Of course. You are the only one who couldn’t see it, and we have known for the last five years,” you have a better idea of reality.

Listen to Their Terminology

People who are cheating often give themselves away by the words they use. For example, if your partner says something like, “I don’t love you any longer, and I’ve been seeing someone else for two years,” there is a very good chance they have been cheating on you.

Tone of Voice

Studies show women believe men with lower voices are more apt to cheat. Science has also shown men with lower voices have higher levels of testosterone, and that in turn has a correlation to higher rates of cheating. Therefore, if your husband or boyfriend sounds like Barry White, you can rest assure they are probably cheating on you, possibly this morning at work.

Social Media

Is your technophobic partner suddenly interested in Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. You can be sure that they don’t suddenly want to keep in touch with that goofy friend from high school. If your partner starts mentioning seeing things on Facebook, they are probably cheating with old flames from their past.

Your only good course of action is to stalk them relentlessly on social media, leaving charming comments about dark things that are about to happen to them.

New Behaviors

Is your husband, wife or special someone suddenly acting completely different? If they have worn Hawaiian golf shirts and khakis for the last 15 years, but suddenly show up to the dinner table wearing motorcycle leathers and a fringed hunting jacket, with the top their head covered with a Russian beaver hat, they have met someone who is influencing their mode of dress. Rest assured it is not their personal shopper at Nordstrom — it is the person they are cheating on you with.

Take heed of these signs, and act decisively if you feel like you are being cheated on. Because the answer is yes, you are.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.