I’m Just Getting A Few Things

“Hey, do want a ride to the store?” a neighbor called out as I ambled to the local grocery.

“No, I’ll be all right. I’m just getting a few things. Thanks!”

You know how that goes. A few things becomes a few things PLUS.

Half an hour later I was walking back with multiple plastic bags digging cuts in my hands and fingers. I may have passed out.

“Mount Carmel Hospital, this is Ambulance 34. We are transporting a white male, portly, out of shape, probably mid-50s. He seems to have passed out on the sidewalk with multiple lacerations on his hands. Could be a poor attempt at suicide.”

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.