New Pallet-Riding Commuter Option in Los Angeles

The City of Los Angeles recently approved the adoption of pallet-riding on commuter rail lines. A recent successful test in Slovakia gave city officials the confidence it will work here. Here is video of the test which shows how commuters will ride pallets to get around the city.

City Transportation Director Sylvan K. Smyrna commented: “The new Pallet Commuting Initiative will give Angeleno commuters another option to get around our great city. We have earmarked $4 million for the acquisition of hundreds of thousands of pallets.”

Smyrna explained that one commuter rides a pallet at a time. They ride the same tracks as Metro Rail trains, fitting in between the cars. Asked about safety, he said, “As always, safety is our first responsibility. Pallet commuters will be trained to ride the pallets at high speed so as not to interfere with the trains. They are allowed to drink coffee and surf the internet while riding , but no smoking. Each pallet has it’s own wifi system.”

A limited number of private pallets will be available to cater to the city’s celebrity community. They will have special clearance of a certain distance from pallets following them full of paparazzi. As well, in a nod to the city’s sport’s team, designated pallets will be painted in the team colors of the Lakers, Kings, Dodgers, Clippers, Galaxy and Sparks.

No alcohol will be allowed on pallets. Operators of pallets must abide by current laws. No more than 2 people can ride a pallet at any time, with one person operating it. No children are allowed.

The Pallet Commuting Initiative is the latest effort by the city to relieve congestion on city streets and highways. Other initiatives coming in the near future include the Drone Commuting Initiative, which involves drones picking up and dropping people off around the city. Other ideas are the Red Wagon Initiative–kids will be hired to pull commuters in their red wagons to their destination. Red wagon travel is slower, but the rates are lower.

For now, the Pallet Initiative is getting all the attention at City Hall. “Of course, there may be a few accidents while we work out the kinks,” said Smyrna. “Any Pallet riders struck by trains will be asked to retake the training until they can ride safely at high speed.”

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

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