Salad is Killing You

Courtesy USDA via Flickr Commons
Courtesy USDA via Flickr Commons

 

Salad is so, so, sooooooooo overrated as a healthy meal. Salad walks around all day talking a good game: “Look at me, I’m healthy. I’m not like that flat slob Hamburger over there. Look at that guy. He can’t even fit into his cargo shorts!”

In reality, salad ends up being unhealthy. Here’s why:

Lettuce Sucks

Lettuce is really, really bad for you. It sends fight or flight messages to your brain because it tastes so bad.

I’m Just Having A Salad

Salad fools you into adding fat stuff on it because “I’m just having a salad.” Yeah, but you added 3 pounds of cheese and enough Ranch dressing to choke a rushing Siberian Tiger.

Vegetables Taste Horrible

Radishes? Who eats radishes? The only people who eat radishes are the same people that commit major crimes and steal parking spaces from the elderly.

Salad is bad. Stop eating salad.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.