How to Survive Thanksgiving Alone

Hey, it happens. You have 10,000 family members. Your friends number 85,000 or 95,000, or maybe that is your Instagram follower list. Either way, here you are alone on Thanksgiving. Here are three ways to survive the ordeal.

Eat Out

There are plenty of restaurants open on Thanksgiving, and by that I mean McDonald’s. Shape your hamburger into a little turkey, and cut some slices with one of those little plastic knives.

Enjoy Football

Thanksgiving Day is the perfect chance to watch football on TV. Sometimes it’s hard to see the scores through your tears, though.

Play Holiday Music

Thanksgiving is the official start of the holiday season, so break out those classic songs like Bing Crosby’s “Alone Again at the Holidays (I Wonder What They Are Doing Down at the Jail)” and Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New Lonely.”


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at
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