3 Fun Facts About Boxing Day

When I lived in Canada, we observed Boxing Day the day after Christmas. It wasn’t a day for my brothers and I to beat each other up — that was every other day.

No, Boxing Day is a real holiday in the UK, Canada and several other countries.

It Goes Back to Medieval Times

Some experts trace Boxing Day all the way back to medieval times. The “box” part refers to wealthy people giving boxes of gifts to their servant staff the day after Christmas.

Gee, thanks. That’s like letting them watch the Kentucky Derby the next day after everyone has left and the race is over.

Boxing Day Sales Used to be a Thing

Back in the day, we loved Boxing Day because it signaled big savings at post-Christmas sales. Some families even celebrated Christmas by exchanging gifts in the days between Christmas and New Year’s Ever just to save lots of money.

Now, the sales are so good before Christmas, Boxing Day sales are passé.

Which is good. Who wants to celebrate a birthday 5 days later?

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
This gift was on sale
So I bought one for me, too

No Boxing, Fighting or Roundhouse Kicking

I know, I know. Why call it Boxing Day if you aren’t going to throw a few punches?

Sorry, not allowed.

Save up that aggression for next Christmas season. You’ll need it to fight other shoppers on Black Friday to get that 64-inch TV for $100. Especially when you have to gang-tackle a grandma who nabbed the last one.

3 Amazing Fun Facts About the Toronto Raptors

Along with the Vancouver Grizzlies, now Memphis Grizzlies, The Toronto Raptors were founded in 1995 when the NBA expanded into Canada as part of their goal for total worldwide domination. The only other market the NBA considered in Ontario was Punkeydoodles Corners, yes, that’s a real town. An NBA executive explained, “The team name was going to be the Punkeydoodles Corners Doodleheads, but they couldn’t fit it on the jerseys, so we went with Toronto.”

Right around this time that the NBA was expanding into Canada, the Canadian Football League was busy expanding into America. The first team was the Sacramento Gold Miners, which was largely made up of the former Sacramento Surge, a team with the defunct World League of American Football. The league failed partly because the games were played in spring, and Americans don’t think of football in spring. They think of baseball, golf, and sucking in their gut at the beach for the next 6 months instead of actually exercising.

The Raptors originally played at the SkyDome, well-known for its motorized, retractable roof. The roof worked well until that one year it broke and it snowed on the court for the entire first half of the game. An arena spokesperson said, “It was the first time we brought out the Zamboni for a basketball game.”

3 Crazy Fun Facts About the Toronto Blue Jays

The Toronto Blue Jays are currently atop the American League Eastern Division. Here are 3 crazy fun facts about the “Jays.”

The Blue Jays were founded in 1977. So much was going on that year. Elvis Costello released his first record, “Less Than Zero.”

One local wag told me, “Yes, and that’s the exact number of wins the Blue Jays got that first year.”

The Blue Jays play at the Rogers Centre, originally called the SkyDome. It was built after the 1982 Grey Cup, the Canadian Football League Championship game, was played in a driving rainstorm, to this day known as the Rain Bowl.

A local man remembered: “I was there. It rained right in my damn beer. I was drinking 50 percent Labatt’s and 50 percent rainwater.”

The Blue Jays are the only team based outside of the US.

An MLB league official explains: “Well, we want more Canadian cities to join Major League Baseball, but the support isn’t always there. Heck, in Calgary, they’d rather watch stagecoach races. What’s that all about?”

The Best Rhymes of Canada’s Rancher Rapper

Canada is well behind the rest of the world. The benefit is that the Canadian rap scene has not fallen off as much as in other countries like the US.

In fact, one of Canada’s biggest rap stars, the Rancher Rapper, recently dropped his latest album, “Sheep Shearin’ and Gat Blastin.'” Here are some of the best rhymes from the album.

 

 

“Got No Sleep – Remix”

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Three sheep need sheerin’ I got no sleep
Bogus trippin’ n I’m runnin’ deep
With my boys rollin’ gats blastin’
On Sunday our fly fishin’ reels be castin’

 

 

“Bootlicka”

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My dog he eatin’ everythin’ in the house
He ate my cat he ate my mouse
He eatin my boots he’s a boot licka
‘Bout to discipline him with my clicka

 

 

“Hey Wagon!”

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Hey, hey wagon, hey wagon, hey wagon, Yo!

 

 

“Pabst Blue No Skinny Jeans”

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Got our PBRs we be trippin’
Deep to your hood black skinny jeans
Coyote howlin’ tin cans rippin’
We’ll take out your appendix and your spleen

 

 

 

“Rancher Rapper” (TM) Ranch City Records – Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada – Lyrics and Music – All Rights Reserved

Image Elements courtesy US National Archives and Internet Archive

Tired of Winter? These Canadians Eat Winter For Breakfast

What? You are tired of winter? Aw, poor you! You want the sun to return and the endless grey skies of February to go away.

Your problem is you are weak. Take a lesson from these Canadians. They laugh at winter. Put on four pairs of long johns and come with us as we observe Canadians taking care of business.

 

These Canadians eat winter for breakfast

Frozen seaways? Haha. Canadians just cut ice away from frozen lakes and ponds! Hey, want some fresh ice in your Scotch on the rocks?

 

These Canadians eat winter for breakfast

You think you have a bad winter? This is Winnipeg in the middle of June. Spring won’t come until early July and summer is only a few weeks long!

 

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You know what that lady is carrying? A bow and arrow covered in cloth. If they see any bison, she whips out the bow and brings down the beast with one shot. Dinner is served!

 

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Too much snow on the lake to play hockey? No problem. These guys iced down an indoor greyhound racing track and started playing hockey within the next two hours!

 

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Got the winter doldrums? These people spiced up their winter days by racing for food. Only the winner gets to eat. You don’t need shorter winters. You need better ideas.

 

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This guy just pulled some fish out a hole he cut in the ice. Now he’s cutting the fish using a special boat he made with an old Sunfish sailboat and some indestructible kitchen knives he bought on QVC. You just need to get creative to enjoy winter, not hate it!

 

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Hi mom, I love winter!

 

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Aw, you find it hard to walk in the snow? These Canadians didn’t cry, they figured it out. Two tennis rackets and some duct tape and you are off and running!

 

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No money for winter sports? Get out your toughest blanket and throw your friends around like popcorn in the skillet. Listen, Canada has winter down “cold.” You just need to try harder.

 

Is this Canada’s worst driver?

This driver in Calgary needs some more training on how car steering works. They find it impossible to get out of this parking lot without smashing into a car.

Hey, I lived in Edmonton. I know it’s not easy driving in Canada. But sometimes you need to think out of the box. Go one way in order to turn around and go the other. Think of it as parking zen.

News reports said Calgary police had launched an investigation. Later they reported they had contacted the driver and the victims. Not much going on in Calgary?

3 Halfway True Things About the BC Lions

The BC Lions started playing in 1954 and are the oldest pro sports team in the city and the province. They have competed in the Grey cup 10 times winning six times for a winning percentage of 60 percent. That’s a pretty good percentage. Hey, I’ve got a pretty good percentage, too. I’ve got a pretty high losing percentage in my attempts at getting a driver’s license. I failed the test 8 times in a row. Finally, they just stamped it “Approved!” and said, “Good luck.”

The BC Lions take their name from a pair of mountain peaks overlooking Vancouver called “The Lions.” Inspired by this, the Saskatchewan Roughriders considered renaming their team after mountain peaks but could not find any in the entire province. The highest peak they found was a large pile of empty beer cans on a Saturday morning in the front yard of a student house near the University of Regina.

In 1977, the Lions gained the nickname “Cardiac Kids” due to their habit of winning in the final minutes of several games. Later, they changed it their nickname to the “Heart Attack Harry’s” partly as a tie-in to a local fast food chain of the same name. The restaurant’s most popular dish is french fries dipped in gasoline and covered with molten lava.

Things You Should Know About the Toronto Blue Jays

The Toronto Blue Jays team name comes from the bird named Blue Jay, and follows the pattern of blue in the colors of the other teams in town – the Argonauts and the Maple Leafs. The Maple Leafs were the first team to use blue–it was the color of their fans shortly after they left games and walked out into the middle of a Canadian Winter.

The team was founded in 1977. Other great things started that year include Apple Computer and the TV show Roots. The worst thing from that year was a horrible movie called Airport 77 which apparently involved stolen artwork, sleeping gas and the Bermuda Triangle. Or something.

The team has not made the playoffs since 1993, but they don’t suck either. You’ll have a good time at the game. Just go to 100 level, hit the Tim Horton’s and load up on doughnuts. If you don’t know what Tim Horton’s is, ask your Canadian friends. In Canada, Tim Horton’s is a nationally legalized drug there.

A Few Fun Facts About the Edmonton Eskimos

The Edmonton Eskimos colors are green and gold. The colors originate from the 1949 season when the team borrowed uniforms from the University of Alberta because the Golden Bears were not active that season. The color scheme stuck. They also borrowed 13 kegs of Molson Golden Ale which they have yet to return.

In 2005 the Eskimos introduced green pants into their uniform combinations.

In the late 1970s and early 1980s the Eskimos won 5 Grey Cups in a row. All over town fans loved to sing the Edmonton Eskimos fight song:

We’re cheering fight, fight, fight on Eskimos.
We’re cheering fight, fight, fight on Eskimos.
We’re charging down the field for all to see.
But please God don’t make me wear these green pants.