I looked at the scanner error code: Misfire in Cylinder 5. Great. The Beater with a Heater is a V-6, and one of the six cylinders was acting up.
I decided to talk to him.
“Hey, Cylinder 5, what’s up with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re misfiring, messing up the whole engine.”
“Woah, slow down. I’m just going through a lot of stuff right now, but I’m not messing up the whole engine.”
“You aren’t? I’m getting less acceleration off the line and sluggish top end.”
“Ooooh, ‘less acceleration off the line,’ oooh. What, you are Richard Petty, now? It’s a minivan! With dents in it I might add.”
“Listen, you aren’t pulling your weight.”
“Think of it this way. You have six cylinders. I’m just one. You have five others ready to take up the slack. If we worked for a city or state road crew, you’d have one guy doing the work and five others watching. So already you are ahead.”