7 Worst Things About Being a Starbucks Barista

It seems like everyone likes Starbucks. But behind the counter it is a different story. I talked to Raphael, a long-time Starbucks barista in Los Angeles. He shared with me the seven worst things about being a barista.

1. The new barista training in Colombia.

All baristas must travel to Columbia and help harvest beans by hand for two weeks. At night they take classes in the different types of beans like Rust-Bucket Red and Choco-loco Cocoa. They get 5 hours of sleep for the whole time they are there.

2. Giving each other nicknames.

Every new crop of baristas is tasked with giving each other nicknames that they will be called for their entire employment with the company. Raphael’s nickname is “Trucker Hat,” due to an unfortunate fashion choice he made on his first day of training. Others in his class were named, “PB and J” and “Gatling Gopher.” He declined to explain these names.

3. Learning to call out customer names.

Starbucks trains their employees a very special way to call out customer names. It must sound helpful and upbeat, but have a hint of superiority. It’s a delicate balance, and veterans claim it takes months to perfect.

4. Wearing a helmet.

Due to new federal regulations, all Starbucks baristas must wear officially approved helmets. “I don’t mind doing what I can to help increase workplace safety,” Raphael said. “But, it makes it really, really hard to get phone numbers from attractive female customers.”

5. New delivery service.

In order to keep up with Amazon and other new companies using mobile app technology to provide fast food and beverage delivery, Starbucks began testing a new delivery service at Raphael’s location. “I really didn’t like it,” he said. “You have to run up to the door of the customer, deliver the coffee and get back into the delivery vehicle within 17 seconds. It’s difficult as it is, but if you inadvertently step on a child’s toy or tricycle, you’ll add 4 to 5 seconds to the trip. If you are ever over the 17-second limit, you are immediately delivered a video message from Howard Schultz telling you that you have only two more chances before you are let go. However, on the good side, he does say that will get a good recommendation to work at Burger King.”

6. Mooching relatives.

“Maybe one of the most annoying parts of working at Starbucks is every friend and family member wants a free product. Hey, I don’t come to your retail store and ask for free running shoes.”

7. Birthday songs.

Finally, Rafael described another of his huge pet peeves about working at Starbucks: singing birthday songs. “I don’t mind making the customers happy. But coming around the front of the counter in order to sing the Happy Birthday song to a customer just wastes our time. I’m happy it’s your birthday, and I’m glad you are a Starbucks customer, but please celebrate your special day somewhere else. You’re slowing down the line.”

7 Annoying Things Newbies Do at Starbucks

1. Keep repeating, “Is this Coffee Bean? I like Coffee Bean.”
2. Tell you how much better their neighborhood coffee place in the Marina in San Francisco is than Starbucks.
3. Order a Frappucino.
4. Ask the barista for a recommendation.
5. Ask what country the beans come from.
6. Take up chairs with their book bag.
7. Not ready when their turn to order.

Starbucks Teams With Skrillex in New EDM-Themed Coffee Chain

Starbucks announced today they are teaming with Skrillex, one of the leading personalities in the booming Electronic Dance Music scene, to open a series of EDM-themed coffee houses across the country.

“We are excited to partner with Skrillex in this new venture,” a company spokesperson said. “We have some innovative ideas such as baristas wearing furry boots and headbands from the 60s.”

The coffee houses are large enough to accommodate crowds of 200,000. The vary first operation will be a temporary location just inside the perimeter at the Burning Man Festival in Northern Nevada.

Skrillex is expected to make regular appearances at the new coffee houses, schedule permitting. The company spokesperson said he would not be filling any coffee orders himself.

Things Morning People Do To Be Wildly Successful

Let’s face it. People that get up early have a head start on the rest of the world. But that’s not all. People that get up early have a number of good habits that keep them wildly successful.

The only sleep 47 minutes a night

One reason people that get up early are able to do so is that they only sleep 47 min. each night. Science shows that we all sleep much more than we need, and the human body is able to get by on as little as 30 min. of sleep a night. People that get up early are able to go to sleep at 3:30 AM and set their body clock to wake up only 47 min. later.

They drink plenty of coffee

An average person drinks a cup of coffee or maybe 2 cups a day. A person who gets up early has no problem waking up because they’re downing 18 cups of coffee before they head out to work. Once at work, they tend to drink 3 to 4 cups an hour until the day is over.

They get plenty of exercise

People that get up early use that time to get their work out done early in the morning. This doesn’t mean they actually go to a gym. They drink so much coffee they get their exercise simply by filling and grinding the beans in the coffee machine.

They constantly review and update their to do list

People that get up early have extensive to do list of over 7000 items. By getting up early, they’re able to examine each of the items on the list and add to and subtract from it as needed.

They utilize visualization

Professional golfer Jack Nicklaus called visualization “going to the movies,” his way of saying that visualization allow successful people to see themselves as a success before actual events take place.

People that get up early have a heightened ability to picture themselves as a success. For example, if you get up early it’s much easier to picture yourself successfully negotiating traffic to work. If you are stalled in a traffic jam, visualize getting out of your car and running in between the lanes, leaving your car in the middle of the road to be picked up later.

They are goal oriented

People that get up earlier also tend to be goal oriented. They have ten-minute, half hour, hour, 3-hour, 12-hour, one day, three-day, five-day, seven-day, 15-day, 30-day, 12-months, one year, two year, three year, four year, five year, 10-year, 20-year and 30-year goals they keep on their iPhones and review every 17 minutes, making sure they stay on track.

They concentrate on good nutrition

People that get up early work on eating the right food. They carry a knapsack full of fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts and high-protein nutrition bars that allow them to eat at any time.

Even if they are in an elevator with 15 other people, they can open their knapsack and quickly down 49 prunes before the elevator hits the bottom floor. Unfortunately, if the elevator gets stuck, their excessive prune intake will result in a gaseous cloud that will kill every person on the elevator.

They work from a clear desk surface

People that get up early know the value of working from a clean desk. Even if their desk has some mementos or pictures on it when they arrive at work, they will clear it off in a fit of anger by sweeping anything on the desk, including the phone, into the trash can in a rage.

This not only gets their blood going, ensuring a productive day, it makes sure that other employees think they are mentally unstable, giving them the space and time to get things done. Productive people know that other people can only hinder their progress.

If you’re not getting up early, you can work on some of these skills in order to become more productive, better a better lover and more accepting of your kids failures at school.

Man Gets His Own Coffee At Local Diner

Image Courtesy DEXTRA Photo of Norway via Flickr Commons
Image Courtesy DEXTRA Photo of Norway via Flickr Commons

A man got up from his chair at a local diner today and got his own coffee from the machine against the wall. As soon as he finished pouring the cup, his waitress came around the corner from the kitchen and caught him in the act.

“Hey, what are you doing?” she said. “You can’t do that!”

The man hurried back to his seat as the waitress continued to berate him loudly.

“I tried to wave her down several times,” he told people eating at the tables nearby. “She ignored me time after time. Finally, I saw the machine against the wall, and I just decided to get up and get it myself when she was in the kitchen.”

The man claims to be a regular at the diner and is often seen eating breakfast there before he leaves for his job as a construction foreman at a nearby site. He regularly meets his construction coworkers for a full meal including coffee.

“We are here all the time,” said the man. “There’s no reason for her to ignore us because we always tip decent and are regular customers.”

The waitress was not persuaded by his statements. “Nobody, and I mean nobody, gets their own coffee when I’m on the job,” she said. “Hey, I don’t come down to their construction site and start carrying tools around do I?”

The man sipped his coffee a few times, paid and left.