Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Some actors draw on their own life when they need to call up emotions for their roles. Mr. Mayhem from the Allstate commercials, Dean Winters, went through some personal trials that he no doubt uses when wreaking havoc in all those TV spots. In the "stories I missed" department, I just read that a couple of years ago he died and came back to life. Now that's commitment to the craft.
Read More
I had a good set at the Comedy Store. A comic friend sat down across the table.
“You know, you should do commercials”, he said.
“You mean, like a spokesperson, an executive type?” I pictured myself in a $2,000 suit holding up the latest cold medicine, stating in stentorian tones, “This medicine is so strong, you won’t feel your headache, or anything else, including your feet.”
“Well, more like a neighbor guy”, he said. “A guy that has a riding mower.”
“Oh.”
Actors tell me it is important to know yourself so you can predict how casting agents will see you for roles in commercials and movies and TV shows. If you look like a Hell’s Angel, you shouldn’t go out for accountant roles. My problem is I think I look one way, but other people see something else.
After my set at the Brewco later in the week, a guy approached me with his card out. He wore sunglasses even though it was well past 11 at night. He had a blue baseball cap which he wore backwards and pulled low.
“Very funny”, he opened. “I like the golf stuff. I’m Jerry Steinberg. Steinberg Productions. We do music videos and some commercials. I have a client who makes golf driving nets. The kind you can set up in your back yard and hit golf balls into. I need a golfer type to be in a commercial. Interested?”
Of course. I have a classic golf look – square jaw, piercing gaze and athletic body, like Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson. Combine that with my beautiful swing and winning personality, I knew I’d be perfect.
“Tell me more”, I said, as if directors were always approaching me after my sets.
“Well, I need a guy that is not in as good a shape as he could be. A guy who could be further in his career but plays too much golf. He’s obsessed by it. But, he’s not very good.”
“Oh.”
“He’s the kind of guy who buys all the latest golf gadgets and doo-dads but never gets any better. Eternally hopeful, eternally lousy.”
“OK.”
“He uses golf to distance himself. Instead of spending time building relationships, he works on his golf game. But his swing looks like he is chopping firewood.”
“Uh-huh.”
“But, he has money. And spends it on expensive stuff like our golf nets. Do you think you could play this character in our commercials? And infomercials?”
“Well, I don’t really know anybody like that.”
But a gig is a gig. I’ll study up on it.
Read More
I heard a car commercial on the radio the other day that sounded a little unbelievable:
“The Violator is available for a limited time for only $99/ month!”
Then at the end of the commercial a guy started talking real fast:
“$99 month is a 6 month lease only on approved credit. Capital reduction fee of $15,000. Does not include car doors, rear bumper or left side tires.”
He negated everything about the commercial by putting a fast-talking disclaimer afterwards! Wouldn’t that be great if you could do that in your real life?
Claim: I am going to start running every day.
Fast Talking Disclaimer: Running every day does include not religious holidays, Thanksgiving, New Years Day, Groundhog Day, days I am too tired to run, days I am not too tired to run but a Seinfeld episode comes on that I haven’t seen, Mondays, Fridays, and any other days ending in ‘y’.
Claim: I am going to stop smoking.
Fast Talking Disclaimer: Stopping smoking does not include borrowing other people’s cigarettes, smoking while drinking, smoking to help celebrate a victory, smoking to overcome a disappointment, smoking to overcome nervousness, smoking while calm, or any smoking before 12 noon.
The fast talking disclaimer could be used by many people. Like stockbrokers:
Claim: This one is a winner. I say we go all in.
Fast Talking Disclaimer: Claims of this stock being a “winner” may be influenced by the fact that we do not have any idea what we are talking about, by the sudden arrest and conviction of firm partners for insider trading, or by sudden fluctuations in the recommended stock including sudden and total devaluation.
Or TV weather people:
Claim: It will be sunny all day today.
Fast Talking Disclaimer: Predictions of sunny weather do not include the interruption of sunshine in whole or in part by any or all of the following: clouds, rain, thunderstorms, lightning, hail, fog, sleet, snow, El Nino, La Nina, tornadoes, tsunamis, hurricanes, typhoons, cyclones, blizzards, or precipitation of any kind.
Or humor writers:
Claim: Fast Talking Disclaimers are funny.
Fast Talking Disclaimer: Claims of humor are based on previous special cases. Your experience may differ. Additionally- all chuckles, snickers, giggles, titters, guffaws, grunts, snorts, and sighs of disappointment will be registered as laughter.
Read More