Why Did I Have to Learn Cursive Writing?

What was the point of learning cursive writing? In the U.S., oldsters remember learning how to print letters, then later learning how to write the same letters in cursive. Why? That’s like learning how to speak English, and then learning “Ohioan,” which is close to English but includes words like “warsh” (wash) and “sweeper” (vacuum cleaner), or “pop” (soda).

Like this: “Before I do the warsh and run the sweeper, I’m going to have me a pop.”

21 Most Beautiful College Campuses in America

Sorry if you didn’t go to these schools and your campus looks like a city dump transitioning to a US Air Force bomb testing site.

Don’t worry  – you can still go to grad school at any one of these 21 most beautiful college campuses in America.

 

University of Chronic Major Switchers/ Walla Walla, WA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

College of Cricked Necks/ Ben Wa, SD

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of Pop Bottle Whistlers/ Sioux City, IA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

College of Complex Personalities/ Spring Load, ID

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

West Cracked Sidewalk College/ Skip To My Lou, AZ

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of Peanut Brittle/ Peanut Center, PA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Super Liberal College and Horse Farm/ Hunt Way, KY

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Microsoft Institute of Windows/ Enticing, FL

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Smells College/ Disinfectant, OH

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

Sarah Binder Clip College/ Paper Stack, IN

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Convenient Clothes Brush College/ Campus Spot, OR

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Jamison-Kidney Stones College/ Kamluyster Unit, MI

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

College of Seductive Secrets/ Pleasant Point, ME

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of Quiet Introverts/ I’d Rather Read, IA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Starched Shirts Business School/ Sharp Elbows, NY

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

Low Flow College/ Commode, VA

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of the Home Schooled/ Lack of Social Skills, CO

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Selfie College/ It’s All About Me, TX

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

University of Hammers and Nails/ Basement Rehab, CT

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

West-South-Northern School of Frozen Pipes/ Flooded Kitchen, MO

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

Message In a Bottle College/ Police Squad, FL

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

 

 

 

What’s This Girl Have To Do To Read Her Own Book?

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No sooner had she brought her new book home from school her two brothers grabbed it.

They were going to read it, right?

No, they just wanted to look at the pictures. For hours.

Look at these two clods holding up her education. Hey, learn to read like everyone else, you dorks!

Brothers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy Provincial Archives of Alberta

Crazy People At School: Mr. Not-Doctor-Doctor

Mr. Not-Doctor-Doctor has called himself “Doctor” since the day he got his PhD in Organizational Communication or Western Culture.

In the real world, the only people that are called doctors are actual doctors. Don’t make people call you “Doctor” unless you can perform open-heart surgery. Don’t sign your emails and letters with “Doctor” unless you can take a bullet out of someone’s shoulder.

When someone passes out on the plane and the flight attendant yells, “Is anybody here a doctor?”, we don’t need you jumping in saying, “I can help organize a staff chart!”

Chinese Scholarship Gift From Comedian Gets Heckled

A popular Chinese comedian gifted a university with almost 50 G's for a scholarship fund. Except some scholars at the university are complaining. Seems they don't want to be mixed up with entertainment types, calling the comedian a "plebian person who always spouts empty and insincere chatter to amuse people."

Over here we call that “Hollywood.”

How To Learn A Foreign Language in 24 Hours

Many people state that they've always wanted to learn a foreign language. Perhaps they've taken classes in high school and want pick up where they left off. Or maybe they purchased some CD's to listen to in the car. Here is a way to become completely fluent in a foreign language in 24 hours.

 

1. Most people learn their own language as an infant and small child. In those days all they heard was "get down from there", "get that out of your mouth", "don't put that in Daddy's ear while he's sleeping" and so on. Your first task is to hire a native speaker in the language you want to learn.

 

2. Tell the native speaker to follow you around all day and yell at you like they would at an infant, but always in the native language.

 

3. Your brain will revert to when you were a year old.

 

4. Within hours you will begin to say words in the native language but like a little kid (or large baby). For example, you might point at the cat and say "dog." This is to be expected in this type of training.

 

5. The yelling should continue through the day. Within 24 hours you will start to form complete sentences in your new language like "I made a woopsie" and "I set the cat on fire."

 

By the end of the week you should be speaking at a 7th grade level in your new language. This is two levels higher than most people speak in their native English.

Class Notes

I graduated from Ohio University in Athens, Ohio. The university has an area on their web-site called Class Notes. Alumni can update their friends on what they’ve been up to since graduation. I eagerly entered my information:

Hello, fellow Bobcats! What a time I’ve had since graduation in 1983. During our graduation ceremony I was spotted by a modeling agency and whisked away for test shots in New York. I didn’t even have time to pay the $5,000 in parking tickets I had accumulated since freshman year.

Soon I was People magazine’s “World’s Most Handsome Man”, dating princesses and filling in as guest host on Entertainment Tonight Weekend Edition.

After 5 years of existing on cigarettes, I sat on the beach in Cannes and thought about my next career move. From the beach I could see a woman screaming for help as she thrashed in the surf. The lifeguard was busy ordering a baguette from a stand near the Palais de Festivals. I raced out to save her. At first she struggled. Then she realized who I was and relaxed while I dragged her to shore. I turned her on her side and 15 gallons of ocean water and 2 gallons of oil from the Exxon Valdez poured on the sand.

She turned out to be the mission director of a manned space flight to Mars. She believed I could help the mission because my high profile would be good for publicity. I trained for 1 ½ days and joined the Mars team. We landed on Mars, got out, and looked around. It looked a lot like Palm Springs. So we made arrangements to develop Mars into a planned golf community complete with houses with little garages for golf carts.

Seeking a new challenge, I had some fraternity brothers hack into the Ohio University computer and change all my grades to A’s.

Armed with a new GPA I enrolled in Harvard Medical School. We learned about the Jarvik Heart, the world’s first man made heart. Inspired by the story, I developed the Ditzel Liver. It was first tested on Ohio University seniors. However, it did not have the intended result. Equipped with brand new livers, the seniors decided to start over as freshman and party another four years.

And now, you too, can enjoy the benefits of a brand new liver. Just log on to www.ditzelliver.com and fill out the questionnaire. Your new liver will be shipped Next Day Air from our lab in my spare bedroom. You’ll get complete self-surgery instructions. In no time at all you’ll be back in the Dog Pound cheering on the Browns.

Thanks, Bobcats! See you soon!

PS22 Chorus Is In An Empire State of Mind

You gotta love these PS22 Chorus kids getting into their version of “Empire State of Mind”. Stay tuned for the blooper at the end.



Here is the Jay Z/Alicia Keys Video:



“Empire State of Mind” is a song by hip hop artist Jay-Z, featuring guest vocals of R&B and soul singer-songwriter Alicia Keys. The song was released as the third single from Jay-Z’s eleventh studio album The Blueprint 3 on his Roc Nation label. The song is an anthemic ode to both artists’ native New York City, featuring a sample of “Love on a Two-Way Street” by The Moments. Jay-Z and Keys performed the song at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, as well as the American Music Awards of 2009. It is also the plate music for New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter, and it was used in the trailer for Sex and the City 2.

The single has been commercially successful in the United States. It peaked at number one on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming Jay-Z’s first number-one single on the chart as a lead artist. “Empire State of Mind” reached number 2 on the UK Singles Chart on October 4, 2009. The song also reached number 2 in the Irish Singles Chart on September 25, 2009 with no official release.

Alicia Keys has recorded an answer song to ‘Empire State of Mind’ titled ‘Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down’, it features on the album The Element of Freedom and has charted within the top 30 of the UK Singles Chart.
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Source: Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empire_State_of_Mind

Lyrics are here:
http://www.elyricsworld.com/empire_state_of_mind_lyrics_jay-z.html




Teacher Says

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

“Because I am not an American.”

“Then”, asks the teacher, “What are you?”

“I’m a proud Canadian,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.

“Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I’m a Canadian too.”

“That’s no reason! What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”

“Then,” said Kristen, “I’d be an American.”