At the races

3 Amazing Fun Facts About The Golden State Warriors

The Golden State Warriors were founded in 1946 as the Philadelphia Warriors. 1946 was a crazy year. That year “The Lost Weekend” won the Academy Award. “The movie was remade in 2009 as ‘The Hangover,'” a film historian explained.

In 1947 The Warriors won the very first Basketball Association of America Championship, now called the NBA Championship. They won it again in 1956, 1975 and 2015. They beat the Fort Wayne Pistons, now the Detroit Pistons, 3-1 to win the 1956 Championship. Fred Zollner, the owner of the Pistons, helped form the NBA by raising support from the phone next to his kitchen table. “He also ordered a Papa John’s Pizza from that same phone, which was just delivered this week, decades late, and it tasted just the same,” an NBA staffer said.

In 1962 the team first moved to San Francisco and became the San Francisco Warriors. A team official explained, “We considered and then rejected several name changes to go along with the move such as the San Francisco Outrageous Rents, the San Francisco 29 Degree Summers, and the San Francisco Democrat Strongholds.”

At the races

3 Wild Fun Facts About the Boston Celtics

The Celtics were founded in 1946. That year Pope Pius XII published the Quemadmodum. Wait, how do spell it? Whatever. Basically, it’s a Catholic document that limits you how long you can kneel in a hot church in July.

One priest said, “Kneeling is dangerous. Last Sunday we had three old ladies pass out from kneeling, so we dunked their heads in the baptismal and let them air out back in the parking lot out back until they revived.”

Currently the Celtics play homes games at the TD Garden. The Boston Bruins also play their home games there.

“Sometimes we schedule the Bruins games and Celtics game at the exact same time. You should see a 7-foot tall Celtics player sitting in the penalty box. They can barely fit in there. We have to open the penalty box door to let their feet stick out a bit,” said a team spokesperson.

The Celtics have an incredible 17 championships, a league record.

A Celtics fan said, “We should have 18! We would have beat the Lakers in 2010 but Rajon Rondo kept leaving the games to get hot dogs. That guy loves hot dogs.”

At the races

3 Crazy Fun Facts About the Los Angeles Lakers

The Lakers were founded in 1947. That was an interesting year. The defribillator was invented that same year, a device that has come in handy for Lakers fans having heart attacks when they realize what they are paying for an average ticket.

Jerry, a longtime fan, said, “$600 for one ticket? For what? They’ve been terrible. Hell I can my whole family including my 15 cousins into thte state fair for that price, and we get to see a dinosaur in a battlle with a rodeo bull. I mean, it’s something.”

The LA Lakers started as the Minneapolis Lakers in Minnesota. The team name is in reference to the state’s nickname, “Land of 10,000 Lakes.”

An Iowan named Chester commented, “Yeah, well that nickname was inspired by Iowa’s nickname: “Land of 10,000 Pigs That Can Sing the National Anthem.”

The Lakers had one of the biggest stars in the league of the time, George Mikan. Nicknamed “Mr. Basketball,” there is even a popular practice activity named after him called the Mikan Drill.

A local coach explained: “Now the Mikan Drill is when you get under the basket and cry because you were the biggest star in the league and got bupkus while today a benchwarming point guard for the 76ers gets $57 million.”

At the races

3 Wild Fun Facts About March Madness

March Madness, formally known as the National Collegiate Athletic Association Men’s Division One Basketball Tournament, started back in 1939. That was an interesting year. That same year the 1939 New York World’s Fair introduced TV to the general public. The promoters of the fair said television would help uplift humanity. That has proven to be true – television is an amazing invention that has brought humanity such uplifiting, quality entertainment such as Mr. Ed, Joanie Loves Chachi and The Real Housewives of Des Moines.

TV Announcer: “Next on the Real Houseweives of Des Moines, Anabelle returns her cow to Esther because she ain’t giving up no milk, and sparks beging to fly.”

March Madness is sometimes called the Big Dance. Similarly, the American Presidential election cycle is sometime called the BS Shuffle. “The BS Shuffle is a dance where grown men and women compete to see who can flip flop the most in the shortest period of time,” a dance expert explained.

March Madness consists of 64 teams divided into 4 brackets. Well, actually, now it’s 68 teams, but who’s counting.

Crazy Basketball Fan: “68 teams? What the hell? Why not let almost everybody in and run the tournament through June. Oh, wait, we have that already. It’s called the NBA Playoffs.”

At the races

3 Amazing Fun Facts About Syracuse University Basketball

Syracuse University started playing basketball back in 1900. That was an interesting year. That was the year Kodak came out with an inexpensive point-and-shoot camera called the Brownie. How inexpensive? It cost one dollar. It was supposed to be simple enough for a little kid to use, but it came with a 44-page book of instructions.

Camera Store Salesperson in 1900: “Sir, this camera is so simple, your 6-year-old can use, provided he can read at the college level.”

Dad: “Junior, you best be studying your readin’ and writin’, I want to take some family PHO-tos!”

Syracuse is one of the winningest teams in all of college basketball. The were recognized as national champions as early as 1918. Vic Hanson was an early standout on the basketball court at Syracuse, and later played professional ball for the Cleveland Rosenblums, a team named after their owner. I think we should go back to naming teams after their owners.

Sports Announcer: “Tonight on NBA’s game of the week! The Los Angeles Ballmers Vs. The San Antonio Holts!”

The Orangemen play at the Carrier Dome, the largest covered stadium in collegiate sports. Its name comes from the carrier pigeon. The tradition is to fly a carrier pigeon from the stadium to the student center before every game with a note attached to it’s leg. This year the note said “Stop Trump! No, really…please stop Trump.”

At the races

3 Crazy Fun Facts About Villanova University Basketball

The Villanova University Wildcats began playing basketball back in 1920. That was an interesting year because that same year the Montreal Canadiens beat the Quebec Bulldogs with a record 16 points in one game. One Quebec Bulldogs player of the era said, “Hmm, this number is exaggerated. Uh, we were coming back and we would have beat them if we had another 18 or 19 periods.”

Villanova has appeared in the NCAA Championship series an incredible 36 times, achieving Final Four status in 1939 and finally winning it all in 1985. A Villanova Sports Director was quoted as saying, “Sure, it took us 46 years to win the whole gosh darn thing after appearing in the Final Four in 1939, but hey, we’ve had the best hot dogs in the NCAA since 1932.”

The Wildcats won their very first game, beating Catholic University 43-40. A former Catholic University player said, “Hey, you try holding on to a basketball, much less shooting it, after having your knuckles wrapped by a nun for years and years of Catholic School. (Starts to cry.) I mean, it was hell. We had one nun that didn’t even use a ruler. She used this thing. (Holds up a 4-foot large steel T-sqaure ruler.) This isn’t corporal punishment. This is recognized as torture by the United Nations.”

At the races

3 Astounding Fun Facts About Indiana University Basketball

The Indiana University basketball program started back in 1900. That was an interesting year. That year the US Navy bought the first modern submarine, created by John Phillip Holland.

One observer at the time said. “I swear, hand to God…I ain’t lyin…the thing was painted…yellow.”

The Hoosiers play in the Big Ten which consists of 14 teams.

A parent said, “See, that’s the kind of math skills that result from the gosh darn Common Core. That core is rotten.”

The team plays on Branch McCracken court. Branch McCracken? Sounds like a type of whiskey they would order in the movie Lonesome Dove.

“Barkeep, give me a Branch McCracken…and a Shirley Temple for my horse.”

At the races

3 Cool Fun Facts About University of Cincinnati Basketball

University of Cincinnati basketball started in 1901. That was an interesting year. That was the same year Walt Disney was born. A lot of people don’t know he created a theme park before Disneyland and Disney World called Disney Trailer Park. The most popular ride was called Pall Mall World.

“It’s a Pall Mall world after all
It’s a Pall Mall world after all
It’s a Pall Mall world after all
It’s a Pall Mall world.”

The Bearcats coach is Mick Cronin, who, as of this video, is in his 9th season. Talk about an overachiever — in his freshman year of college, this guy was coaching high school players at Woodward High School.

“Get in there, son.”

“Son? Coach, you are a year older than me.”

The Bearcats play at Fifth Third Arena, which holds 13,176 fans. To honor Fifth Third Bank, the arena is one fifth of one third the size of a regular basketball arena, so half the fans half to sit on the shoulders of their friends.

“Let me tell you a secret,” a Bearcats insider said. “All fans have to sit on the shoulder of another fan, but for opposing team fans, we tell them they need to sit three, four or more on top of each other. We tell them we just don’t have the room! You should see when a guy at the top orders a hot dog or a soda, and it has to be passed up eight people high. God forbid he doesn’t have exact change.”

At the races

3 Slightly Amazing Facts About University of Kansas Basketball

The University of Kansas basketball program started way back in 1898. That same year the highest speed record for automobiles was set at 39mph.

“More than 100 years later, the top speed for automobiles on Los Angeles freeways is 15 miles per hour less,” a California Highway official said.

Kansas Basketball is one of the oldest in the country. The reason it grew so fast was there was nothing else to do in Kansas in 1898 other than making a sod hut.

“My entire hit is made of sod,” one settler said. “And I made the roof flat, so I could go up ‘ere and practice my putting.”

The Jayhawks play in the Big 12 Conference, which is named after the average shoe size of the players.

“And that was back then,” one fan said. “Now the players are 8 feet tall and their shoes are much bigger. They should call it the Big 20 conference.”

At the races

3 Crazy Facts About North Carolina Tar Heels Basketball

The Tar Heels basketball program started back in 1910. That was an interesting year. That year in Berkeley, California the first junior high school in the country opened. That fall was also the first time kids made their parents drop them off two blocks from school.

“Just drop me off here. This is GOOD.”

“Honey, we just pulled out of the driveway.”

“It’s fine! Just let me out!”

You might be wondering what a Tar Heel is. It’s a person that comes from North Carolina. The name Tar comes from the southern pronunciation of the the word tire, as North Carolina was a major manufacturer of rubber tires in the Civil War era.

“I’m telling y’all, it’s like a wagon wheel, but it’s got rubber on it. It’s a Tar!

North Carolina won the first of many NCAA Championships in 1957 under coach Frank McGuire. He came to the Tar Heels from St. John’s University, where he led not only led their basketball team to the Final Four in 1952, he coached the baseball team to the 1949 College World Series and the Beer Pong Team to victory in the 1950 Collegiate Beer Pong Classic.

At the races

3 Fun Facts About Duke University Basketball

Duke University basketball started in 1905. That was an interesting year. That was the same year AG MacDonald drove the first automobile over 100 miles per hour in Daytona Beach. When the cops pulled him over, they asked why he was speeding, he said he was on his way to the first wet T-shirt contest in Daytona Beach, a tradition that continues today. They let him go.

Duke is coached by Mike Krzyzewski whose name is worth over 3 million Scrabble points.

Coach K has been the coach at Duke since 1980, and he’s only 69. I think we need to start talking to him about what’s next in his career. What’s the level above Duke University basketball coach? President of the United States!

I think Coach K should run for President in 2016. He has a winning record of 965 wins and 250-some losses. The guy is a proven winner.

Maybe you think I’m crazy. But have you seen the clowns running for President? Mike will beat them in a landslide. Support me in my cause.