3 Things You Are Doing Wildly Wrong on LinkedIn

LinkedIn has become a powerful tool for job seekers and networkers alike. If you told me 10 years ago there would be one source you could look up almost anything on anybody in business, I would have taken out my wallet so fast there would be fire burns on my fingers. Bottom line – you need to be on LinkedIn in order to be as successful as possible.

At the same time, too many of you are making basic mistakes. Avoid these three glaring errors to maximize your use of this great platform.

Shirtless Selfies

Apparently, some people think this is a dating site, because I’ve seen several executives use a shirtless selfie as their profile picture. Look, whether you are male or female, it’s nice you are proud of your physique, but a shirtless selfie on LinkedIn is not the place to show it off. Save that for Tinder.

Over-Humblebragging

Anytime you start a number of updates or posts with, “For the past three years, it’s been an honor to lead my team to the best sales in the company’s history….,” just stop. Clearly, you are humblebragging about how great you are.

Do it enough, and you might get the LinkedIn Over-Humblebragging Award of the Month, which you would probably also post about, telling us how humbled and honored you are.

LION

LION stand for LinkedIn Open Networker. It’s a moniker for people who basically accept any invitation from others seeking to connect. True LION’s have 20,000 or 30,000 contacts, limited only by LinkedIn’s connection ceiling.

Hey, it’s great you want to meet and greet everyone in the world. But the chances of productive interaction with that many people are around zero. Would you invite them all to your wedding? Well, maybe you would, but you are going to need a much bigger hall, like maybe Dodger Stadium.

Crazy People Online: Mr. I-Need-Help-Hey-Screw-You

Mr. I-Need-Help-Hey-Screw-You is a peculiar crazy person you see in online forums and social media groups like Facebook Groups. He asks for help and then tells you to screw off when you lend a hand.

This is the scenario: He is distraught, at the end of his rope, wants some advice and direction. He rants in detail, explaining in endless paragraphs what he really wants and wondering why the Universe has conspired to block him from the goal. “Why? Why me? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” he cries.

So if I know how to help him, against my better judgement from painful previous experiences, I reach out to help. I offer suggestions, tips and insight. I address directly HIS stated concerns, laying out a possible plan.

Then he rails, “What are you talking about? This doesn’t help! I’m in pain! Hey, screw you!”

Oops, I went against my rule. I should have seen it a mile off. Never wade in to these forum threads. Never, ever, ever.

Yes, he has a problem, but he doesn’t really want help.

Not from me. Or anybody else.

 

7 Ways to Develop New Business on Social Media

Developing traffic, sales and clients for your business is easier than ever with social media. Use these seven ideas as often as possible to get the most out of this exciting commerce channel:

Send Instagram message such as, “Yo, you got any business for us over here?”

Join the maximum number of groups on LinkedIn in your niche, then send connection requests to every member of each group. Write it just like this with the blanks intact: “Dear _________. Thanks for connecting. I look forward to sharing many ___________ about our shared love of __________.”

Friend 10,000 people you don’t know on Facebook, get banned, then run Google ads that say, “How I Got Banned on Facebook and Generated $10,000,000!”

Post lots of pictures with you on a yacht with good-looking friends, exotic guns and stacks of cash. After the pictures are shot, pay off the actors and boat owner who you told you were making a rap music video.

Announce you have started a new LinkedIn clone called DollarDollarHollerforDollars.com.

Tweet the following message 490 times a day: “Hey, guys, quit avoiding the obvious. You know you like me, you really, really like me.”

Drive social media traffic to your site filled with useful content such as “7 Ways to Make Money While Fly-Fishing in Your Batman Underwear” and “How I Built a Fortune Selling Key Chains Made From Custom Braids of Renaissance Faire Maidens.”

5 Dangerous Social Media Injuries

Social media is a dangerous activity that can result in serious injury. Be aware of these potential problems.

Facebook Face Freeze

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Facebook Face Freeze occurs from spending too much time on the social media giant looking up old flames and creeping on the page of their current partner.

LinkedIn Leg Lock

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LinkedIn Leg Lock is a serious injury that results from kicking yourself because you even joined this site. You spend all day deleting spam messages from dubious members whose only previous job seems to be as a “manager” for a made-up company in Nigeria.

Twitter Blindness

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Twitter Blindness occurs when you attempt to keep up with every Twitter beef Donald Trump has going at any one point in time.

Google+ Shoulder Strain

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Google+ Shoulder Strain happens when you click around too much on Google+ trying to navigate the insanely bad user interface.

Pinterest Hand Cramp

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Pinterest Hand Cramp is a form of carpal tunnel that develops from pinning 72 pictures of your cat Mr. Whiskers and 3,683 inspirational quotes.