At the races

3 Crazy Fun Facts About the Los Angeles Lakers

The Lakers were founded in 1947. That was an interesting year. The defribillator was invented that same year, a device that has come in handy for Lakers fans having heart attacks when they realize what they are paying for an average ticket.

Jerry, a longtime fan, said, “$600 for one ticket? For what? They’ve been terrible. Hell I can my whole family including my 15 cousins into thte state fair for that price, and we get to see a dinosaur in a battlle with a rodeo bull. I mean, it’s something.”

The LA Lakers started as the Minneapolis Lakers in Minnesota. The team name is in reference to the state’s nickname, “Land of 10,000 Lakes.”

An Iowan named Chester commented, “Yeah, well that nickname was inspired by Iowa’s nickname: “Land of 10,000 Pigs That Can Sing the National Anthem.”

The Lakers had one of the biggest stars in the league of the time, George Mikan. Nicknamed “Mr. Basketball,” there is even a popular practice activity named after him called the Mikan Drill.

A local coach explained: “Now the Mikan Drill is when you get under the basket and cry because you were the biggest star in the league and got bupkus while today a benchwarming point guard for the 76ers gets $57 million.”

At the races

Missed My Bus Again

I missed my bus again
I know it was dumb but
I missed my bus again
Yes it was stupid but
I missed my bus again
Can you do me a huge favor and
Give me a ride home

I missed my bus again
I know it was dumb but
I missed my bus again
Yes it was stupid but
I missed my bus again
Can you do me a huge favor and
Give me a ride home

I’d appreciate it

© 2016 Joe Ditzel and Ditzelize Music

At the races

7 Little-Known Cool Spots in Los Angeles

LA has world-famous sights that prompts tourists from every land to travel to Southern California to see and admire.

But in a city this size, there are bound to be some hidden gems only locals know about. Here are some suggestions to try on your next visit.

 

Tiny Aquarium/ Venice Beach

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

Hall of Bad Tans/ Beverly Hills

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

Lost Parking Garage of Shotskyville/East Side

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

Massive Migraine House/ Hollywood Hills

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

Moving Concrete Steps Escalator/ Downtown

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

Beacon of Fame/ Hollywood

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

LA Underground Zoo/ Westside

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
At the races

7 Los Angeles Secret Spots Only Angelenos Know About

Los Angeles has plenty of famous landmarks and tourist destinations. But only locals know about these secret spots that give this unique city it’s special flavor.

Beverly Hills School For Wayward Dog Walkers

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

 

Upstairs Eating Room in Governor’s Mansion

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

 

Lies Launcher

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

 

Screenwriter Suicide Cove

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

 

Beverly Hills Streetlight Replacement Depot

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

 

Downtown Hair Weave Factory

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

 

 

Venice Beach Fountain of Youth

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

5 Surprising Facts You Didn’t Know About Los Angeles

Courtesy Unsplash
Courtesy Unsplash

1. Hollywood is named after Holly Wood, a starlet from the 1920s who is best known for her starring role as Meredith Manning in the hit film, “Stringtown Shooter.”

2. To relieve traffic congestion resulting from President Obama’s extensive security detail driving through the city on his frequent fund-raising trips to Los Angeles, West Hollywood turns Santa Monica Boulevard into a landing strip for Air Force One.

3. For over 60 years, young lovers have signified their feelings by placing a lock on the door of Barney’s Beanery. The door now weighs 3 tons and is 2 feet thick with 250,000 locks.

4. The Hollywood Hills are haunted. The ghost of John Mersasapanik, a 1930s writer, floats above the homes, moaning, “He should have died at the end. He should have died at the end.”

5. The first Starbucks outside Seattle was in Los Angeles. The very first day, Kanye West stopped in for a latte. Asked his name, he said, “Yesus! Creative Genius!”

LA Man Rides Donkey To Beat Clogged Freeways

Courtesy National Library of Wales via Flickr Commons
Courtesy National Library of Wales via Flickr Commons

A Los Angeles man is beating the horrendous traffic by going old school. He rides a donkey between stopped rows of cars to and from work every day.

“Even at a donkey’s leisurely pace, I beat my coworkers to work four out of five times,” said computer programmer Darren Bridev. “The days they beat me it is usually because Marty (the donkey) stops in Beverly Hills to eat some of the flowers.”

 

Why Are San Francisco Residents Moving to LA?

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There seems to be an epidemic of people in the Bay area moving to LA. Why are all of these residents picking up stakes and moving to Southern California?

I talked with Naufa Neussle, a game designer, chef, English teacher and skateboard enthusiast who lived in the Marina in San Francisco. He recently got a new job and moved to Venice in the Los Angeles area.

“Why did you leave San Francisco, a city that many say is the most beautiful in the world?”

“It’s impossible to live in the Bay Area anymore. My rent went from $1500/month 10 years ago to $125,500/month at the beginning of this year.

“I had to have three jobs just to pay my rent. The only way I could do it is if I slept on the bus in between each job. I would stretch out on the roof because the bus company wouldn’t let me sleep inside. It worked out fine unless it was raining. In that case, I would sleep in a wheel well. It was no problem as long as the bus was going uphill.

“When it was going downhill, which you can imagine was half the time, my body would tend to spill out onto the axle. I would hold onto the axle with my left hand, while gripping the undercarriage of the bus with my right hand. Once we went uphill again, I could get a quick nap.”

“It sounds impossible to manage. But isn’t it worth making some sacrifices to live in a gorgeous city like San Francisco that has great restaurants, stunning views, cool neighborhoods and historic architecture?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love the city. I loved to try new restaurants every Sunday when I had 35 min. free for a personal life. My girlfriend and I would walk up and down Union and try different restaurants. Just last Friday, we tried a new Italian place, and the bill was $9500 for a couple plates of pasta and a fairly generic bottle of wine. I was able to pay the bill by working there for three days, using vacation days I had saved up from my other jobs.”

“Well, Los Angeles is not exactly the cheapest place to live either.”

“At this point in time, Los Angeles is still not as in demand as a town like San Francisco. In the Bay Area, you will find culture and refinement. In Los Angeles, culture is a giant donut on top of a diner. Because there is less demand to live here, you can still get an apartment that is cheap enough that you can afford to buy a potato, and onion and a carrot every few days to keep you alive. It gives you time to go to parties so you can listen to people tell you about their latest screenplay. This is a much less demanding schedule than my three-job schedule in the Bay Area.”

“Fair enough. What are your plans for the future?”

“My goal for the following 12 months is to buy a house. I have identified three relatives that have enough money to bequeath me, upon their death, enough for me to put a down payment on a 500 sq ft. house in a high crime neighborhood. I’m not sure which relative will be nice enough to transfer to the hereafter so I can buy home, but I hope it is before the Super Bowl so that I can have friends over to mooch free food and chip dip off me, staying only through the end of halftime before they leave without saying thank you.”

7 Things You Heard About LA That Are Total Myths

Many people from the normal part of the United States, meaning outside the limits of Los Angeles County, have many preconceived notions about the city of LA. Today we’re going to examine seven myths about LA.

Dennis Rodman Mayor

Many people believe Dennis Rodman is the mayor of Los Angeles, that he ran for office after leaving basketball and has been leading the town ever since. This is a complete myth.

However, it is true that Dennis Rodman is the mayor of a 40-yard stretch of Hermosa Beach he calls DennisRodmanLand, where he stages a weekly religious ceremony and cookout.

Fame Awaits

A persistent myth about Los Angeles is that movie stars are discovered at the bar at El Coyote restaurant. This is a complete myth.

It is true that many movie stars have discovered the killer margaritas at El Coyote, some never leaving the building ever again.

Uber Pass

A new myth circulating throughout the country is new LA residents are issued a free one-year Uber Pass, allowing them to roam the city any time of day or night for free, much like a Eurail pass.

Not true. But new residents are issued a 12-month Metro Rail pass and bulletproof vest.

Star Next to You

Many people believe that movie stars roam the city, maybe even sitting next to you at one of the famous Hollywood watering holes.

The truth is today’s biggest stars would never take the risk of being seen with the general public. They hire body doubles to stand in for them, take pictures with fans and sign autographs.

Beautiful People

Around the world, people have the perception that Los Angeles is filled with beautiful people. It is true that in this world headquarters for the film, television and entertainment industries, there are a number of attractive people.

But that is only part of it. The truth is you have to be SUPER beautiful to stand out. It’s to the point where really ugly people have ample job opportunities an average beautiful person does not enjoy.

Pharmacology

Some believe that everyone in LA County is on some kind of natural or synthetic pharmaceutical at all times.

While there is a certain amount of abuse going on, the number one recreational drug in LA is narcissism. Many people are on a constant supply of narcissism that alters their personality, rules their lives and eventually leaves them sitting outside a bus station in Las Vegas wondering what happened.

Rock Star

“Welcome to the Jungle,” said Axl Rose in a famous Guns and Roses song. Right now, hordes of young rock hopefuls are streaming into LA from small towns and big cities around the country.

The idea of being discovered and getting a record deal with a major record company is an ongoing myth that needs to be destroyed. These starry eyed hopefuls would have a better chance of recording their own album in their basement in Peoria, putting it up online and building their own tour of laundromats, dry cleaners, hospital waiting rooms and convenience stores.