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Teacher Says

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

“Because I am not an American.”

“Then”, asks the teacher, “What are you?”

“I’m a proud Canadian,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.

“Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I’m a Canadian too.”

“That’s no reason! What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”

“Then,” said Kristen, “I’d be an American.”

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Work and Careers

Security Guard Messes Up Story

Late Friday security guard Leon Wellell began to tell his co-worker Randy Stiller about his days as a retail salesperson. Only minutes later his story got lost on a critical detail- the name of some Microsoft software.

The story started well enough: “I used to sell high end audio, you know, home entertainment and all that. Then computers came in big so I switched to that,” Wellell began.

“What year was that?” asked Stiller.

At this point Wellell’s narrative started to stutter.

“Well, it was the year Microsoft came out with that one software that was so popular.”

“Windows?”

“No.”

“Excel?”

“No.”

“Word?”

“No.”

“Powerpoint?”

“No.”

“What was it?”

“I don’t know.”

The two guards looked at each other for a moment and then returned to their paperwork.

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