I Turn Los Angeles Teams Into Winners

I moved to Los Angeles in 1991.

Two years later the Kings made it to the Stanley Cup finals for the first time. They won the Cup in 2012 and 2014 when I lived a block away from Staples.

In 2000, the Lakers started an amazing series of NBA Championship wins including 2000, 2001, 2002, 2009, and 2010.

After several months sabbatical in Ohio, I returned to LA in spring of 2017. The Dodgers immediately run the table to make the World Series and take a 1-0 lead at this writing.

In short, I have positive influence on LA major league sports teams except football and roller derby, and I’m happy to do my part.

Crazy Fun Facts About the Pittsburgh Penguins

The Pittsburgh Penguins were founded in 1967 in the NHL’s first expansion. The league went from six to twelve teams. Can you imagine a professional sports league with six teams? “OK, we play you guys on Monday, then we play the other guys on Wednesday, they you play us on Saturday, and we play those other guys next week. And then we just repeat that 45 times.”

There was a lot going on in 1967. “The Milton Berle Show” last aired on ABC. Hey, have you heard this Milton Berle joke? “I’m 83, and I feel like a 20-year-old, but unfortunately, there’s never one around.”

The Penguins weren’t the first NHL team in town. The Pittsburgh Pirates were active on and off from 1925-1931. They took their name from the baseball team in town. “Sure, why not call every team in town ‘The Pirates.’ Pittsburgh Pirates football, Pittsburgh Pirates basketball, Pittsburgh Pirates roller derby, Pittsburgh Pirates tiddlywinks…”

When the Penguins took the ice in 1967, the American Hockey League’s Pittsburgh Hornets shut down. They franchise appeared for the first time in Pittsburgh in 1936, moving from Detroit after nine years there as the Detroit Olympics. The Hornets used to play at the old Duquense Gardens, the very first rink to use Glass on top of the boards. Prior to glass, arenas used wire mesh. “I liked the wire mesh better,” one fan said. “That way, when a fight broke out right in front of you, you could stick your finger in the eye of guy on the opposing team. Old time time hockey, good times.”

3 Fun Facts About the Cleveland Indians

The Cleveland Indians were formed in 1901. That was an interesting year. That year Pope Leo XIII published an official church document called Graves De Communi Re which said golfers could no longer use the Lord’s name in vain…after missing a 2-foot putt.

The Indians took on that name in 1914. Just before that, they were called the Cleveland Naps, named after player Napoleon “Nap” Lajoie. They almost changed the Indians name back to Naps in the mid 1980s, because the whole team seemed to be asleep at the wheel.

Anncr: “It’s a long fly ball”

Outfielder: “Zzzzzzzzzz….”

Anncr: “It’s going, going…”

Outfielder: “Zzzzzzzzzz….”

Anncr: “Oh! Off the fence and bounces into center field.”

Outfielder: “Zzzzzzzzzz….”

The Indians conduct spring training in Goodyear, Arizona. Yes, it is a town named after a tire company. An Indians spokesperson explained: “Yes, we also looked at Perelli, Texas; Michelin, Florida; and Bridgestone, California. We went with Goodyear because they made us some special baseball caps made out of a small tire. Small snow tires. It’s an all weather baseball cap.”

Golf Rules: Putt Hitting Downed-Flagstick

Courtesy Missouri State Archives
Courtesy Missouri State Archives

Do you get a penalty if your ball hits a flagstick laying on the green?

The bigger question is why are you putting with a downed flag laying between you and the hole? Did you expect to be able to jump over the flag like a BMX champion flying through the air at the X-Games?

This isn’t a rules question. It’s a question about your common sense.

Bubba Watson Steams About Slow Play at 2015 US Open at Chambers Bay

Bubba Watson opened with a double bogey today at the 2015 US Open Championship at Chambers Bay near Tacoma, Washington. His frustration continued to mount as the pace of play slowed to a crawl.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and teed up a ball in the middle of a fairway, shooting it straight into a Port-A-Potty, knocking it over with a man inside.

Is Bubba right to be upset? Here are some of the reasons for today’s slow play:

  • Henrik Stenson stopping along the gallery ropes to teach Swedish swear words to fans.
  • Dustin Johnson insisting on walking to his ball like he’s John Wayne.
  • Matt Kuchar making his caddie yell, “Kuch!” after every shot.
  • Francesco Molinari cooking 5-minute pasta meals between holes.
  • Jason Dufner getting so relaxed he falls asleep mid-swing.
  • Ernie Els constantly searching for his swing from the 90s.
  • Cody Gribble pushing his new dog food, “Gribble’s Kibbles.”
  • Patrick Reed using a the Cadillac Escalade he won at the 2014 WGC-Cadillac Championship as a golf cart.

Bubba Watson can get extra riled up at times, but when you look at these antics on the course today, you can see why he might have a good reason.