Trump’s State of the Union Address 2018 Review

Reactions to President Donald Trump’s 2018 State of the Union address are mixed throughout the world. Supporters praised the things he has accomplished in only one year on the job, while critics lambasted his “alternate reality.”

Speech Too Long

A common response from both sides was that the speech was too long. Kyle Myheadhurtsbadsky from Kansas said was a Trump supporter. He knew the speech was too long when “my cows turned off the TV in the barn just to get some sleep.”

American Strength

Joy Ihopehequitsthejob of North Carolina was comforted by Trump’s discussion on improving America’s strength. “Of course, Obama is at fault. He made us weaker than ever. We were down to 2 battleships, 5 tanks and a flotilla of guys dressed as rubber decks from the Doo Dah Parade. Sad.”

Open Guantanamo

In his latest effort to erase everything President did, Trump discussed a series of steps he has taken, including issuing an executive order to keep Guantanamo Bay open indefinitely. Kyle Teapartystan also liked Trump’s attack on Obama’s golf handicap, purportedly three strokes better than Trump’s. “Obama could not possibly be a five handicap,” Trump told the nation. “I’ve opened an investigative commission to learn the truth.”


Donald Trump’s State of the Union Address 2018

Tonight the President will give his State of the Union Address for 2018. It’s not known at this writing if he will cover these current hot topics American life in the limited time he has available.

  • The 2018 Grammy’s last Sunday night once again pretended hip hop doesn’t exist despite dominating most playlists on Spotify. It is almost as if they want to bring back the past and deny what people listen to in the present. In other news, they are working on bringing back actual Gramaphones.
  • The National Hockey League will not allow players to compete for their respective teams in the 2018 Winter Olympics. That leaves countries scrambling for players, calling upon retired players like Martin Brodeur, Sergei Gonchar and Kevin Lowe. Tylenol has put together a sponsorship tied to the retired players, providing giant bottles of the painkiller for locker rooms, team buses and behind the bench.
  • After wearing headphones for several hours, I will still feel them on my head long after removing them.
  • College athletes who attract huge amounts of money to their universities will still not get paid one thin dime. Meanwhile, coaches and athletic programs will continue to receive millions in sponsorship fees.
  • Russia will expand their infiltration of American social media platforms in an effort to grow export sales of vodka, hockey, and Russian mail-order brides.