Most New Businesses Fail — How to Make Sure Your Team Succeeds

Statistics don’t lie.

That’s not right. They lie all the time.

In this case, however, it is true most new businesses fail within five years. One of the keys to making sure your firm succeeds is building the right team.

You can’t get there if you don’t have the right people. Hire for aptitude and then find the right slot for them. Base your key positions on a typical heist movie. You’ll need:

The Brains – lays out the whole operation. This may or may not be you.

The Brawn – call that guy with no neck you knew when you did a little stretch upstate for something you can’t talk about.

The Tech Nerd – this is the girl that will keep you on the cutting edge of technology, and show up ever day with a new tattoo.

The Love Interest – yes, your significant other plays a major role in your success. Don’t have an SO? Tinder is your friend.

The Wheelman – you need a genius behind the wheel, somebody that can get you out of a tight situation when chaos ensues, which it will. In other words, you need a great driver to pick up sandwiches, coffee and those little airplane bottles of vodka.

The Money – you don’t see her often, but this wealthy investor is keeping you afloat. Most days you’ll feel she is just toying with your little ship. You are right.

Get these positions right, and your company will do better than you ever expected.

How to Give a Rousing Speech Like Oprah at the 2018 Golden Globe Awards

Powerful public speakers walk among us like gods, getting people to follow them with their ability to move a crowd. Oprah did just that at the 2018 Golden Globe Awards. Here is what you can learn from her skill to enhance your public speaking.

Give Away Cars

Just as she did on her TV show, Oprah gave away cars to the Golden Globes audience. Years ago, she awarded each audience member a mew Pontiac G6. This time, she gifted each audience member a Lamborghini Veneno, a car worth $4.5 million dollars. A few well-heeled Hollywood types realized they already had this car and selflessly donated their Oprah gift to lucky fans waiting outside the hall.

Use Emotion

In her speech, Oprah said over and over, “Fresh, warm doughnuts are everything right in the world!” She repeats emotional truths to drive her point home. Obviously, this pulls on our heart strings because there isn’t a person alive that doesn’t like fresh, warm doughnuts. Use this technique liberally in your speeches.

Rousing Finish

Good speakers understand speech dynamics — the art of varying the pace and pitch of speech to sustain interest. Oprah slowly increased her cadence over the entire speech, ending in a rounding crescendo of inspiration, motivation and dehydration. The audience leapt to their feet, raised Oprah above their heads and carried her triumphantly down the street to the Beverly Hills Lamborghini dealership where she handed out free oil change coupons.

Folks, Oprah is a one-of-a-kind personality, the kind of talent we only see once in a generation. You may not be Oprah, but you can borrow her public speaking techniques to help accelerate your goals and accomplishments.

How to Get People to Like You Fast

You’ll get ahead faster and move further in life if people like you. Here are some shortcuts to get people to like you quickly.

Mirror Their Movements

One common suggestion is to mirror someone’s movements to get them to feel comfortable around you. Try my twist on this method. I call it “Mirror Plus.” It adds something extra. If they scratch their nose, you should scratch the top of your head. If they talk with active hands, you should act even more animated. Try mimicking the hand movements of NFL referees.

Use Compliments

Even stone-faced, serious people respond well to compliments, they just won’t show it outwardly. Sprinkle positive comments to everyone you meet throughout the day.

On the elevator: “I really liked how you punched that button with authority.”

On the street: “Say, you have a cool dog. He seems to like chewing on my leg, but I like him.”

In the office: “Wow, that is a great haircut. Very soon you’ll be on the cover of ‘Weed Wacker Haircuts’ magazine.”

Be Warm and Friendly

Sometimes getting others to like you is just a matter of being warm and friendly. Say, “Hi, Champ!” or “Hey, Tiger!” to people if you don’t remember their name. Your big smile and open body language will communicate your warmth, even if it is obvious you don’t care enough to remember your coworkers’ names after working with them every day for 15 years.

3 Ways to Be Super Successful in Your 20s

This is it – the prime of your life.

Your body is as fit as it is ever going to be.

No other decade of your life will you be able to stay out all night and put in a full day of half-assed work.

Take advantage of it. Here are 3 ways to become super successful in your 20s.

Move Faster

Mark Zuckerberg said “move fast and break dance,” or something like that. So take him at his word. When walking to meetings, pick up the pace. Show you have important things to do and people to see. And just before you reach the meeting room door, spin on your back and do a quick break dance that gets the office jumping. “Look at that girl go! She is VP material,” said a co-worker, watching a red-haired woman dance outside their budget meeting.

Budget Your Cash

Your 20s are great, but 30 will be here before you know it. You’ve got to start saving like you mean it. And I mean start saving everything. Money, car wash coins, scraps of cloth, hairpins, old baseball cards. When the 20s gravy train ends, and you are cold, alone and tired at the age of 30, you’ll have stuff you can use to survive. Somehow. “I’m going to make a boiling pot out of this oil can I used to use for my BMW,” one 30-year-old said.

Meditate

Meditation will keep you centered in the craziness of your 20s life. Think of it as a mini vacation for your mind, keeping you calm and ready for the challenges you face. “When I meditate, I like to imagine I am at business conferences. That way I can deduct the meditation off my taxes,” said an up-and-coming 20-year-old.

7 Ways to Thank Your Team For Giving Their All

Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress
Courtesy Carol Highsmith via Library of Congress

You are the leader.

But you are nothing without your team.

How do you thank them when they do exceptional work?

Here are 7 suggestions.

1. Leave a pizza on their desk chair without the box.

2. Get on the company intercom, thank each person individually and then cry for 30 minutes.

3. Call their parents and tell them how great their kids are doing now that they have left home at 37.

4. Take the team bowling and pick up the shoe rental fee.

One Panel Cartoon - Naked Bowling Night 5035813948
5. Drive them around town in a double-decker bus, showering them with mints and chocolates at every 3rd stop light.

6. Take the worst worker on the team, the curmudgeon who everyone hates, and give him your job for the remainder of the year.

7. Tell the team from now on they get unlimited free rides to and from work on Uber Unicycle.

sports-cycling-Image from page 236 of Cycling art-- 14577911869-unicycle

7 Things to Stop Doing at Work if You Want to Succeed

If you want to succeed at work, avoid saying these things in your sales meetings.

1. Saying, “Boooorrrrinnnggg!” in the sales meeting.

2. Asking your boss, “How did you get this job?

3. Asking your coworker, “How did you get this job?”

4. Sleeping in the break room.

5. Sending emails to HR saying, “Please turn off the TV and quit hiring idiots!”

6. Calling the CEO of your client and asking, “Why did you hire these dweebs I’m dealing with?”

7. Putting a sign on your door that says, “No more complaining. Save that whining for your dog.”

Things You Should Do Tonight To Start Tomorrow With A Bang

crazy eyes joe

Start tomorrow with energy and zest by doing these things tonight!

  1. Trim your nose hair with a hot curling iron.
  2. Lift 20 pound barbells over your head and shout, “Screw you, Kardashians!”
  3. Take the orange juice out of the fridge and pour it down your pants.
  4. Make toast, and throw them like Frisbees at the spiders on the ceiling in the basement.
  5. Pour out all the medicine bottles in the bathroom and fill them with Skittles.
  6. Snap your head back and gargle a spicy pumpkin latte.
  7. Run to  the neighbors house and stand outside and yodel.

Now you are cooking. Get up and go get ’em, tiger.

 

 

7 Things Successful People Do Every Morning

Compare these 7 things successful people do every morning with what you do. See any difference? Okay, then. Start tomorrow incorporating these habits as soon as you wake up.

 

Rotate Tires on Car

man-men-guy-national library of wales-fc-[Gwasanaeth adnewyddu hen deiars y Bangor Tyre Service, Brynllwyd, Bangor 19363299169
Courtesy National Library of Wales via Flickr Commons

Reflect on Plots of Sitcoms Watched Night Before

man-men-guy-national library of wales-fc-William Bulkeley Hughes MP (1797-1882) 6719193147
Courtesy National Library of Wales via Flickr Commons

 

Resurrect Plans for A Heavy Metal Harp Band

man-men-guy-national library of wales-fc-Wilfred Hughes, craftsman and harp restorer from Fron Lledrod, Llansilin, at work 12989393955
Courtesy National Library of Wales via Flickr Commons

 

Open Petting Zoo for Twins Only

man-men-guy-national library of wales-fc-Welsh Black cattle bred by Joseph Evans, Tyndomen, Tregaron 15867815844
Courtesy National Library of Wales via Flickr Commons

 

Call Mother and Wonder She Meant By That Comment

man-men-guy-national library of wales-fc-Tom Nun Nun 6979193011
Courtesy National Library of Wales via Flickr Commons

 

Reflect on 10, 25, 60, 240, 500, and 7000-Minute Goals

man-men-guy-national library of wales-fc-The last of the old candlemakers (Davies) 7975986498
Courtesy National Library of Wales via Flickr Commons

 

Run Through Town Singing Spice Girl Hits

man-men-guy-national library of wales-fc-Swansea Town Football Club 20740154461
Courtesy National Library of Wales via Flickr Commons

7 Characteristics of the Super Successful

Everybody wants to be a success but nobody tells them how to do it. Worry no more, friend, here are 7 characteristics every super successful person has.

Plenty of Sleep

1280w-unsplash-5tniytqs68e-lechon-kirb-driving-tired-sleep-driving-man-truck
Courtesy Lechon Kirb via Unsplash

Super successful people get plenty of sleep. Bob Hope used to nap for 5 minutes in the middle of the day, often while filming a scene for one of his movies.

 

Back To Nature

unsplash- running wolf coyote image_007
Courtesy Unsplash

Successful people get out of the house and take refreshing walks in the woods, communing with nature. Just last week a successful person ran 3 miles in nature, a large brown bear chasing him the whole way.

 

Fit and Healthy

pd - health - surgery - medical - injury - Image from page 78 of [Manual of surgical bandages, devices and dressings (1859) 14802514513

You can’t be successful if you are always sideline with injuries. Tape it up and get back in the game, you wuss.

 

Works Well With Team Members

Courtesy SMU Central University Libraries via Flickr Commons
Courtesy SMU Central University Libraries
via Flickr Commons

The swashbuckling loner hero is a romantic notion, but the truth is successful people work well with teams. It also helps to have someone to blame when things go south.

 

Stay Organized

Courtesy Library of Congress
Courtesy Library of Congress

If you don’t have your ducks in a row, you can never be a success. On the other hand, if you are neatness-obsessed dweeb who counts his socks, you won’t have any friends.

 

Strong Support System

Courtesy Library of Congress
Courtesy Library of Congress

Successful people have a network of loved ones and work contacts they rely on for support. They only get in trouble if their loved ones catch them in the act with their work contacts.

 

Money Wise

Courtesy Internet Archive
Courtesy Internet Archive

Successful people are careful with their money. You better be careful with your money when it took you 20 months to plan a 15-minute bank heist.

 

5 Ways to Get Your Crazy Self Fired

I’ve been shown the door and told not to come back before — I know what it takes to get tossed from gainful employment. Use these ideas and you, too, can be driving home with all your junk in the car in no time.

Wearing Jester Caps

If you insist on juggling and wearing Jester caps while your co-workers look away in shame, you are on your way out.

Not Getting Along

You cannot say to co-workers things like, “I kind of liked you better when your jaw was wired shut after the accident.”

Not Minding Your Own Business

Do not say to a co-worker, “So, what’s the deal with that loser you call a boyfriend. Is he out of jail yet?”

Dressing Inappropriately

Sure, we, know, you are a Toronto Blue Jays Fan. But wearing a giant Blue Jay uniform everyday is a ticket to RedSlipVille.

Bad Odors

OK, you love garlic. You put it on everything. Heck, you put it on cereal! You wonder why there isn’t a garlic version of Cheerios.

But here’s the thing: you stink. Your breath stinks. No one wants to talk to you, interact with you or be near you.

In fact, you have to go. And don’t come back.

5 Signs You Are Going To Be A Huge Success In Life

Success may seem to be random, but there are clear early indicators that you are going to be very successful in life or not. Here are five:

Monopoly Wiz

At 10 years old, you won every game of Monopoly you played, never stooping to bat the board across the room in frustration, sending game pieces flying.

Wheelie Bird

You were able to do bike wheelies much faster and better than your friends, often going a block or more until you crashed into the Dexter family’s mailbox.

Little Wonder

You were the best player on your Little League team, often scoring 40 or 50 runs a game.

Love Skillz

Nationaal Archief - Zoenende Carnavalsgangers  Kissing during Mardi Gras 5452745211
Courtesy Nationaal Archief via Flickr Commons

You were the first kid in your school to kiss a girl who wasn’t your sister or a cousin.

High School Star

You lettered in three sports in high school, played in the band at half time, and sold T-shirts in the parking lot before the game.

 

 

7 Ways To Work Smarter

You’ve heard the old bromide: Work Smarter, Not Harder. Here is how to do it:

  • Every morning prepare a list of things you need to get done for that day and then hand that list to your dog.
  • Create your own board of directors for advice and counsel — include your spouse and your significant other.
  • Group activities together. Going to the store? Hold a sales meeting in the butter aisle.
  • Prop up a dummy in your chair at work. Several advertising sales managers use this technique and sales went up 25 percent.
  • Keep your staff motivated with your old stories about the days they allowed smoking in the office.
  • Fire half your staff this morning and hire them back this afternoon as outsourcers.
  • Create a power-converter into your mouse that changes mouse clicks into energy. Retire young, go golfing.

These are a just a few of the many ways you can work smarter to get ahead of those dorks you work with.

7 Habits Of Successful Entrepreneurs

Every successful entrepreneur has built these seven habits into their daily routine. How many do you share with them?

1. Wake up every day at 230am after a fitful 10 minutes of sleep.

2. Run 47 miles to the nearest small town and back.

3. Eat a healthy breakfast of juice, coffee and cereal made of shredded Wall Street Journals.

4. Review 15, 30 and 60 minute goals.

5. Repeat this affirmation out loud while driving: “I am THE ONE.”

6. Set new goals: First Chicago, then Los Angeles, then NEW YORK CITY.

7. Invent one new product every 45 minutes.

 

How To Exude Success At Work

Successful people take every opportunity to demonstrate their achievements. This allows them to subtly communicate their success without seeming to brag or boast. But how do you do it? Here are several ways to show your coworkers you are the biggest winner in the office.

Safari Tales

Walk around the office with a dead lion draped around your shoulders. Talk about your safari vacation, but don’t mention how successful your hunt was. They will get the picture.

Smartphone Screen

On your smartphone screen, place a photo of a Cape Cod getaway or an Aspen ski lodge. Leave this in plain view when sitting around chatting with your work chums.

Champion Drink

Order drinks at the bar like the champion you are. Yell out drink names you completely made up and then act annoyed when they don’t know how to make them: “What do you mean, you’ve never heard of The Sleeper Hold??!!”

Ride The Whip

Lease the most expensive car you can. Forget all you’ve heard about millionaires “next door” driving 25-year-old cars and changing their own oil. That’s a different kind of rich person — those are the people that live in Iowa and got rich creating a new kind of rhubarb pie. You want to be a rich person in LA or NY, like a film director or hedge fund manager. So drive like one – that means faking it with a lease.

Ivy League

You should get an Ivy League education, but it is hard to get in those schools, and they are outrageously expensive. Here’s what you do: Make up a small, Eastern college that is supposedly in upstate New York or rural North Carolina. Make sure the name includes obscure signers of the Declaration of Independence, has a lot of hyphens or both. For example, tell them you graduated from Bartlett and Ellery College or Haversham-on-Hudson College. When they look at you funny, just say, “It’s a small liberal arts college with an emphasis on open learning.”

Studies show people determine how successful they think you are within seconds by examining visual and other cues. Use these ideas to show the office you are a winner, even if you really live in your mom’s basement.