Things You Should Do Tonight To Start Tomorrow With A Bang

crazy eyes joe

Start tomorrow with energy and zest by doing these things tonight!

  1. Trim your nose hair with a hot curling iron.
  2. Lift 20 pound barbells over your head and shout, “Screw you, Kardashians!”
  3. Take the orange juice out of the fridge and pour it down your pants.
  4. Make toast, and throw them like Frisbees at the spiders on the ceiling in the basement.
  5. Pour out all the medicine bottles in the bathroom and fill them with Skittles.
  6. Snap your head back and gargle a spicy pumpkin latte.
  7. Run to  the neighbors house and stand outside and yodel.

Now you are cooking. Get up and go get ’em, tiger.

 

 


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.