Top Female Athletes Who Have No Interest In Me

Courtesy Library of Congress
Courtesy Library of Congress

 

Being single is tough. It’s hard to meet people. And you never know if they have any interest in you.

For example, these top female athletes have no interest in me. I don’t know why. It might have something to do with they have no idea who I am.

Whitney Miller

Wake surfer and Miss US 2012. No interest.

Michelle Waterson

MMA fighter. Has never had to fight feelings for me as she has none.

Miesha Tate

MMA Fighter. No interest.

Jackie Perez

Crossfit athlete. No interest in me.

Julia Rohde

German weightlifter. Lifting her heart over my head because she has no interest in me.

Danica Patrick

Race car driver. Racing past any feelings for me.

Maggie Vessey

Track athlete. No interest in me.

Natalie Gulbis

Pro golfer. No interest in me.

Skylar Diggins

WNBA star. No interest in me.

Serena Williams

Pro tennis champion. No interest in me.

Christmas Abbott

Crossfit champion and pit crew member. No interest.

Hilary Knight

Professional hockey player with no interest.

Altynbekova Sabina

Volleyballer from Kazakhstan. Could care less.

Ali Krieger

Soccer player. Kicked any interest in me to the curb.

Kiiri Korpi

Figure skater from Finland. Skated right past any interest.

Elena Delle Donne

Pro basketball. Nope. No interest.

Sarah Backman

Swedish arm wrestler. No interest.

Silje Norendal

Snowboarder from Norway. Could care less about me.

Rachel Wray

MMA Fighter. Fighting her feelings for me by having none.

Ashlyn Harris

Soccer goalie. Played for world champion US Women’s National Team. My chance with her is a shutout.

Caroline Wozniacki

Pro tennis. No interest.

Anastasia Ashley

Pro surfer. No interest.

Lindsey Vonn

Alpine skier. My chances are downhill. No interest.

Maria Sharapova

Russian tennis. No interest in me.

Hope Solo

Pro soccer star. No interest in me.

Leryn Franco

Javelin thrower from Paraguay. No interest.

Sally Fitzgibbons

Pro surfer from Australia. Does not want to know me.

Jessica Ennis

British track star with no interest.

Allyson Felix

US Track star with no interest.

Ronda Rousey

Fighter. Never heard of me.

Ellen Hoog

Netherlands field hockey player has no interest.

Lauren Sesselman

Canadian soccer player with no interest.

Lielani Mitchell

WNBA player does not know or care about me.

Meghan Hardin

Golfer and model who apparently has no interest.

Voula Papachristou

Greek triple jump champion with no desire to know me.

Marta Megegatti

Italian beach volleyball player. No interest in me.

Melanie Adams

Pole vaulter from Australia. No interest in me.

Lolo Jones

Track and field. Bobsled. No interest in me.

Sloane Stephens

Tennis pro. Could care less about me.

Antonija Misura

Croatian basketball player. No interest.

Michelle Jenneke

Hurdler from Australia. Jumped right over any interest in me.

Alana Blanchard

American surfer. Currently riding a wave of no interest in me.

Rachel Cummins

MMA fighter. No interest.

Camille Leblanc Bazinet

Crossfit athlete from Canada who has no interest in me.

Blair O’Neal

Professional golfer with no interest.

Alex Morgan

Professional soccer player who could care less.

Sierra Blair Coyle

Pro rock climber who has no interest or desire to know me.

Maria Kirilenko

No interest in meeting me.

Sydney Laroux

Pro soccer. Kicked away any desire to know me.

Gina Carrano

MMA Fighter. No interest in me.

 


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.