Tweeting Babies

Two Eastern European entrepreneurs have developed an app that lets babies send Tweets before they are even born. Here in the States, they are seeking venture capital financing after a successful test of the technology in Europe.

I talked with Elouera Baboescu, who is making the rounds in Silicon Valley. I asked her how the system works.

“We have developed technology that translates the baby’s kicks into language,” she said. It’s complicated, but we discovered that babies are actually able to communicate much more than we thought. From the very beginning, they learn the language of the mother and start to translate thoughts.

“As a demonstration, we have set up a Twitter account with an unborn baby we are monitoring right now, and he is Tweeting like mad.”

Elouera sent me examples of tweets this baby is sending constantly. Here are some examples:

“Am swimming in fluid every day, building strength. #FutureOlympian.”

“Not enjoying mother’s constant replaying of Duran Duran’s ‘Her Name is Rio’ while dancing around the house naked. #NoDuranDuran #BetterCloseTheBlinds”

“Mother is making snide remarks about neighbors from inside the car while smiling and waving to them.
#FakeSmile #NeighborFace”

“Now she is playing foreign language tapes against her stomach. Hey, one language at a time. #GiveABabyABreak #StopRosettaStone”

“We are at the school. She is arranging to get me in a prestigious pre-school program. Hey, give a kid a break. Let me born first. #NoPressure #MakingUpForTheirOwnFailures”

“Shopping for giant stretchy pants at Target. She’s blaming me for her condition. #DontBlameTheBaby #IDidntAskForThis”

Well, thank you, Elouera Babouescu. I’m a tech nerd, and I find the science fascinating. But, I think it is clear. Babies waiting to be born have enough on their minds. We don’t need to add to their stress by allowing them to spend all day on Twitter.

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

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