Joe Ditzel
Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Quote
Fast Down the 405
When going down fast down the 405 into the Valley I’ll pop my trunk to create air resistance in effort to help my brakes.
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Sports Quote: Door is Closed
This game’s in the refrigerator: the door is closed, the lights are out, the eggs are cooling, the butter’s getting hard, and the Jell-O’s jigglin’!
– Chick Hearn, Legendary Voice of the LA Lakers
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The Attitude
The Player: We’re more of the love, blood and rhetoric school. Well, we can do you blood and love without the rhetoric, and we can do you blood and rhetoric without the love, and we can do you all three concurrent or consecutive. But we can’t give you love and rhetoric without the blood. Blood is compulsory. They’re all blood, you see.
Gran Torino
Harry Tofcano
Zoolander
Blazing Saddles
Life of Brian
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Awake at Night
Special Agent Derek Morgan: So tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at all the physics mistakes?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, there aren’t that many scientific errors in Star Trek, especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.
Special Agent Derek Morgan: Right.
– Criminal Minds
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Lindy Landing
Doctor: She had a tattoo of Lindy landing in Paris on her back. If she moved certain muscles just right, she could get the wheels off the ground.
– Dharma and Greg
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In the Way
Greg: [to Dharma] I wouldn’t want our marriage to get in the way of your dating.
– Dharma and Greg
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Tax the Rich
Yes, I think we should tax the rich. Just as long as it starts right above me.
– Ben Stein on “Think Tank”
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Don’t Be Afraid, My Son
Priest: Don’t be afraid, my son. No one is more powerful than God.
Calogero ‘C’ Anello: I don’t know about that, father. Your guy may be bigger than my guy up there, but my guy is bigger than your guy down here.
Priest: Ya got a point.
– A Bronx Tale
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What’s Your Name, Kid?
Sonny: What’s your name, kid?
Calogero ‘C’ Anello: Calogero.
Sonny: That’s a long name. Don’t you have a nickname?
Calogero ‘C’ Anello: No.
Sonny: What do your friends call you?
Calogero ‘C’ Anello: Calogero.
Sonny: That makes sense.
– A Bronx Tale
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Five Miles
Sergeant Hulka: We got a full day ahead of us. We’re gonna start out with a five-mile run.
[Soldiers groan]
John Winger: I know that I’m speaking for the entire platoon when I say this run should be postponed until this platoon is better rested.
Sergeant Hulka: Well, I’ll tell you what, soldier. Let’s make it ten miles.
– Stripes
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Fight After School
Buddy Revell: You and me, we’re gonna have a fight. Today. After school. Three o’clock. In the parking lot. You try and run, I’m gonna track you down. You go to a teacher, it’s only gonna get worse. You sneak home, I’m gonna be under your bed.
– Three O’Clock High
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