Birds and Fast Cars
“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
-George Best
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Joe Ditzel
Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Quote
First Computer
Conspiracy Brother (Dave Chapelle): George Washington Carver made the first computer! Out of a peanut! A PEA-NUT!
– Undercover Brother
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Movie Quote: Call the Police
The Player: We’re more of the love, blood and rhetoric school. Well, we can do you blood and love without the rhetoric, and we can do you blood and rhetoric without the love, and we can do you all three concurrent or consecutive. But we can’t give you love and rhetoric without the blood. Blood is compulsory. They’re all blood, you see.
Gran Torino
Lying Next to Me
Monique: The only way you’ll ever end up lying next to me, Max, is if we’re run down by the same car.
– Raw Deal
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Empire State
I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
– Rodney Dangerfield
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What’ll You Have?
I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
– Rodney Dangerfield
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Wife Wants to Talk
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
– Rodney Dangerfield
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